According to research, most people only have sex in three different positions: missionary, woman on top and doggie. While mixing up sex positions and trying something new can be great, there is a reason people tend to stick to the positions they know: because they know they work. If you want to get the best of both worlds, and if you want to enhance the positions with which you’re most comfortable, you can try something new with the cunning addition of sex toys. By using sex toys to enhance your usual sex positions, you have the advantage of familiarity with added new sensations and, with any luck, more intense orgasms for both of you.
Take the missionary position. It’s great because it allows great clitoral stimulation and, with enough leg-movement, deep penetration too. For the deeper variations on the classic missionary position, watch the Lovers’ Guide Sexual Positions feature. However, if you want to intensify stimulation and arousal for the guy then adding an anal sex toy can make all the difference.
Some men feel uncomfortable about the idea of anal stimulation. However, if you use a small non-phallic sex toy then this will get around some of the issues – homophobic attitudes linger, even though more and more couples are moving on and realizing ‘bend over boyfriend’ sex play is a lot of fun. By using a finger vibrator – with a flared base so that it doesn’t get lost inside – you have two advantages. Firstly, he won’t imagine he’s having anal sex with a man, in negative ways – gender and sexuality play can be fun if you’re both into it; and secondly, it’s small enough such that an anal virgin won’t feel physically uncomfortable.
Start by getting the guy to insert the sex toy himself. Use lots of lube. Helping out while he’s inserting the toy, using your hand or your mouth on his genitals will be appreciated. That way he can tailor it to his body, rather than having to deal with a ‘left a bit, right a bit’ situation with the sex toy, which can be a passion killer. It’s also very likely to be a lot faster so you won’t end up losing your arousal while you wait for his sphincters to open.
Once the sex toy is inside him, start having sex in the missionary position and press the heel of your hand against the base of the toy. Use one hand around his body in a hug while the other rests against the toy. If he hasn’t slid it all the way inside himself, don’t press forwards; just keep the sex toy in position. That way he’ll get prostate stimulation without feeling under pressure.
As things heat up, press forwards slightly and allow him to push back against you. Before long, you may well find your hand pressed against his perineum with the toy all the way in. At this point, move your hand so that the heel of your palm is against the toy but your fingers are playing along the base, pressing the sex toy more deeply inside him but also pushing directly into his perineum. That way, you’ll be stimulating his prostate from the inside and the outside at once – guaranteed to put a smile on his face.
While having sex, try to angle the sex toy as this will press it more deeply into the prostate. This goes doubly so as he nears orgasm and his prostate swells; be prepared for his eyes to roll back in his head in very good ways. And don’t stop as he starts coming; ‘milking’ a guy’s prostate as he starts to come can deliver incredible results.
Once he’s stopped having orgasmic spasms, but while he’s still calming down, ease the sex toy out. If you wait until he’s back in the land of the living then it can be painful, whereas using all the endorphins that are racing around his body to ease sex toy removal is thoughtful. Kissing and caressing each other after anal penetration is always a good idea as people can feel vulnerable afterwards. And of course, next time, it’s your turn to get toys involved for extra fun.