A really good kiss can be far more memorable than a regrettable drunken fumble. Ask most people and they remember their first kiss in all its detail; the location, the way it felt, how it made them feel and how their partner tasted. A kiss marks an important turning point in many people’s lives; the first time they felt even a flicker of attraction towards another person.
Kissing is a beautiful way of sharing really intimate moments with someone, whether you end up having sex or not. And couples who kiss regularly but don’t make love are more likely to stay together than couples who are at it like rabbits but rarely kiss.
It’s worth bearing in mind that kissing doesn’t have to involve the mouth. You can try a butterfly kiss, leaning very close to your partner so that you are looking deep into their eyes. Flutter your eyelashes slowly, just touching the tips of their own. Try this gentle caress on their cheek and all over their face to make them feel cherished.
Alternatively, you can try an ‘eskimo kiss’, gently nuzzling your nose against theirs, whilst you continue to gaze into their eyes.
Whether you use one of these techniques or go straight for a more traditional kiss, it’s good to start gently. Just touch your partner’s lips with your own, and hold the moment for a few seconds. By exploring things slowly, you build up a sense of anticipation, which is far sexier than diving straight in with your tongue thrashing like a washing machine on spin cycle.
No-one wants to kiss a human hoover, so don’t suck on your partner’s face too hard. You may actually injure them, which is guaranteed to kill the passion. And if you feel the need to give your partner a love bite, make very sure that they actually want one. ‘Branding’ your partner against their will just isn’t sexy!
Tease your partner. Run your tongue softly over their lips, and be sure to pay attention to how they respond. By reacting to your partner’s kisses, you turn the experience into something shared, and you can respond to what they want. A great idea is to get your partner to kiss you the way that they would like to be kissed – then return the favour.
Be sure to vary your kisses – a level of unpredictability makes everything much more exciting. Try sucking your partner’s lower lip for a moment, then breaking away to kiss them fully on the mouth again. Or move your attention away to their neck, placing gentle kisses up and down it, perhaps nibbling on their ear and whispering ‘sweet nothings’. As you progress, your partner will probably become more sensitive to the building sensations.
Immerse yourself in the kiss. Close your eyes and enjoy the feeling. Bring your hands into play too – stroke your partner’s hair, or run your fingers gently along their arms and down their back. If they shiver with pleasure, then you’re probably doing something right!
If things are getting steamy, perhaps you’ll want to move further. Continuing to kiss your partner slowly, move one hand to begin unbuttoning their shirt, or very slowly remove their top. As you move, continue to let your fingers brush lightly on their skin. With any luck, your partner will respond in kind.
At this point, you can begin to concentrate on other parts of their body. The shoulders, chest and stomach are all very sensitive to light touches with your mouth. Perhaps you can spin your partner round, and place kisses at random points all over their back. The anticipation will drive them wild! Keep your hands involved, stroking your partner’s front carefully, or continuing to run your fingers up and down their arms.
If you continue kissing like a pro, the anticipation will build to sky high levels and it won’t be long before your partner wants to see what else you can do! Whatever this is, it should feel natural and wonderful.
Perhaps by now you’ll both be aching for something more than your kisses, and it might be time to move on to some other kind of foreplay. Whether you want to use your fingers, tongue or mind to get your partner going, you’ll find lots of tips on the rest of the site.
But don’t feel like kissing always has to move on to something ‘more’. It’s intimate, romantic and sexy in its own right. Just think of how many fairy stories ended ‘happily ever after’ with a kiss.