People love dressing up. It starts in childhood when you transform into a favourite character, doctors and nurses, a prince or princess, or a superhero. Even then it likely had subliminal – or actual (doctors and nurses) – sexual overtones. As adults we dress up for parties and the theatre, for Halloween and SantaCon – so dressing for sex turns it into a special occasion.
Surveys show that role play sex is on the increase. Actually, with average lingerie stores piled high with corsets, push up bras and elaborate thongs, the line is already blurred between underwear and burlesque attire. It seems that not only is everyone dressing up for sex, but that it may not even be thought of as any more risqué than simply making a bit more of an effort.
And a recent survey revealed that a whopping 84% of the 2,000 participants polled admitted that they turn to role playing when they want to spice things up. It seems the fascination with pretending to be someone else was partly due to the build-up (including 28% enjoying making their own costumes), but also because it allowed people to act out their sexual fantasies.
Exploring your sex fantasies with your partner
Clearly, exploring fantasy is a great way of keeping your lovemaking fresh and fully ‘switched on’. Instead of just the usual routine of foreplay and penetration, it can be transformative to try role playing and making sex a thrilling escape into a creative new activity. A little imagination and humour can be all you need to begin stepping out of the reality box for a little erotic role play.
A word of caution, though – when considering introducing this into your sex life for the first time, make sure to discuss it with your partner beforehand. Ensure that they are comfortable to try it. It may be best to start out by settling on a theme you choose together. A third of the participants in the survey mentioned found this important, so don’t spring your teacher-pupil fantasy scenarios on someone before discovering if they’ll be happy with it.
You could stock up on some fun sex toys together, too, as 90% revealed they used some form of sex toy when role playing. Others watch role-playing porn to get themselves going (50%) and there’s plenty to choose from. And whilst on the x-rated web, you’ll find plenty of inspiration. A search of Pornhub reveals fantasy scenarios that feature adults as fire fighters, medical professionals, law enforcement officers and even a man who is pretending to be a wedding planner and who then gets to shag the bride!
Sexual fantasy cosplay
You could start with one that involves literally no costume – and only a little oil or lotion – the Masseuse. It’s self-explanatory, and either of you can be the practitioner or the client. Take it in turns. It’s really erotic massage with a fantasy twist – and hugely unlikely not to end in very hot sex.
Another one involving little to no costume is the Artist and Model role play. Either of you can be the model or the artist. And why bother with a canvass when you can use edible paints to make your partner’s body a work of art – and then enjoy licking it off.
The Stripper is best done wearing the most alluring lingerie you can find. Let him show his appreciation by tucking money in your bra and pants as you perform for him. And he should reciprocate. Get him to check out the Chippendales or learn to make some sexy man-moves from the ‘Magic Mike’ movie.
A variation is the Sex Worker – she as Happy Hooker or him as Midnight Cowboy. Viva vice! It may be a deadly sin, but it can make for memorable sex. Play the paid sex worker to a partner on the lookout for an unforgettable night of lust. End up discussing what you thought the session would have been worth had you had to pay.
Most people admit that at some point in their childhood they had a crush on one of their teachers. The Teacher and Pupil scenario is good if your partner needs direction to get you off. It gives new meaning to the phrase “teacher’s pet’. Again, either gender can be the teacher, ‘instructing’ the other on what to do for an optimal climax. If it’s ‘old school’ you could introduce a bit of spanking or caning.
And talking of rediscovering childhood, try recreating the sexual version of Cowboys and Indians. It can take on a completely new dimension when played with your partner grown-up style. So pick up a hat, put on some war-paint and prepare for hours of pleasure as you whoop and chase one another around the house.
Playing Hotel Maid/Hotel Porter and Guest is also perfect for a staycation weekend. It’s well-known that hotel sex is always more erotic, more likely to happen and more often. When packing your bag, include a skimpy maid outfit that plentifully shows off your assets – or for him a suit, if he can’t find the proper porter’s fancy dress. Once you’re undressed, take a shower together and have full-on waterworks sex.
If you want to get even more into things, capture the essence of sexual freedom in the world of the nightclubs and smoky caverns of pre-war Berlin, for Cabaret sex. There decadence ruled and life was one long cabaret. This one should get you out of the bedroom and into having sex on the dining room table.
There’s Gangsters and Molls – having fantasy sex Chicago-style. You’ll need sharp suits, plenty of (play) money and sex appeal – the gangsters of prohibition America had it all. So why not spend a night as Mob King and Moll and enjoy a bedtime romp, gangster style!
For the decadent sexuality of a Roman Romp, take yourselves on a trip back in time to the most wanton and debauched of all civilisations. Partake in the extraordinarily degenerate pleasures of ancient Rome. Watch ‘Caligula’ together for inspiration – but stop short of frightening the horses!
You can always start with the sexual fantasies you both already have, though ones you haven’t yet tried in real life. As with all matters sexual consent matters, so set boundaries. Role play can have a tendency to go too far and become more BDSM than either one of you wants. Establish a safe word so things can be stopped at any point.
Be safe and indulge in the shared adventure of pretending to be someone else as lovers. Playing out your own private sex roles will bring you massively closer together.