The first time you have sex with a new partner can be a nerve-wracking experience. Just remember that being a great lover isn’t a solo act. Impress your new lover with these simple ways to make the first time fantastic.
You’ve experienced your first time together and enjoyed the initial stages of your relationship. Maybe it’s the second or third time that you’re planning to make love. A few simple things will help your relationship – and your lovemaking – stay fun.
Communication about sex
From the point at which you first have sex, and even before, talking to each other about your likes and dislikes is crucial. Being open with each other from day one will help you have much better sex.
Don’t fake it; it’s not fair on you or your partner and, once you’ve done it once, it can spiral; “But you came the last time I did this.” Instead, show or tell your partner what your like. Sometimes a groan at the appropriate point is all that it takes.
Make the effort
As things start to settle down, it can be easy to get complacent. Don’t. Spend as long getting ready for your partner as you did when you first met. Make sure that you still arrive on time for dates. Focus on the excitement that you experienced the first few times you met to keep it alive. Maybe even write down things that you’ve particularly enjoyed to look back on later on in the relationship, and give you a warm glow.
Kissing and foreplay
Just because you’ve made love, it doesn’t mean that you should put kissing on the back-burner. A sexy snog can get things firing on all cylinders as much as the most intimate touch.
When you’re kissing, try stroking your partner, maybe putting your hands on their waist or hips or perhaps gripping their bum and pulling them into you. Try tangling your hands in your partner’s hair or gently scratching their back as you kiss. Make the kissing last for as long as possible and you’ll be extra-passionate when things do move on.
The three-point turn-on (left nipple, right nipple, clit) may get a woman aroused enough to have sex – if you’re lucky – but it’s hardly the most sensual thing in the world. Don’t think of foreplay as something to get over and done with before you get to the ‘good bit’. Treat it with the respect it deserves. Sometimes, foreplay can be enough all on its own.
Ask your partner where their erogenous zones are. If they’re not sure, spend an afternoon exploring their body then get them to return the favour. Experiment with different types of touch; stroking, scratching, nibbling and anything else you can imagine.
Try masturbating in front of each other for an arousing – and enlightening – experience. Team it with a sexy strip – watch out for our tips in the next issue – and you’ll both be raring to go.
Some people see oral sex as a more intimate act than penetrative sex. Others see it as the first step towards having ‘full’ sex. Either way, as things move on, don’t neglect oral pleasure. Showing your partner that you love the way that they taste will help them feel accepted by you. It’s also a great way for both of you to achieve orgasm.
Only between 25 per cent and a third of women climax through penetrative sex alone, but with oral, the figure is much higher. Try going down on your partner when you’re snuggled up on the sofa watching a film. Some people find oral sex is one of the easiest acts to perform if you’re sharing a sexy shower. Or, if you’re feeling brave, try it outdoors. Just be very careful that there’s no-one around as you don’t want to get into any trouble and there are obscenity laws! The next issue ‘What men and women want’ has got advice on perfecting your oral skills.
Being a great lover isn’t a solo act. Whilst technique can form a part of it, sex is mostly about the way that two people interact with each other. Communicate openly with your partner and work on keeping things fresh. Then just watch those sparks fly!