The importance of self-love for yourself – and the impact it has on your relationships – can’t be overstated. With the right attitude, you’ll create a thriving relationship satisfying both parties. But if you fail to truly love yourself first, even if everything else appears to be going well, you may fail to find a fully satisfying relationship.
The Relationship With Yourself Is Forever
Remember the relationship you have with yourself is the one you can be sure of as having for all of your life. If you don’t know how to keep yourself happy and content, you are likely to put too much significance on a partner to keep you happy. Either there is way too much pressure put on them – and/or you end up putting all your energy into making them happy and losing yourself in the process.
To get started on this journey to loving yourself – and a partner – better, you need to appreciate a few crucial things. So, we’ve compiled several critical reasons to help understand why you need to love yourself and be confident to take good care of yourself!
Comparisons Are Damaging
First off, do you ever feel like you are constantly comparing yourself to other people in their relationships? Do you find yourself putting other people on a pedestal and feeling inferior when it comes to dating or how partners treat each other? Note that making comparisons is the thief of joy and sets you on the rocky road to relationship failure. They are always odious. Work on liberating yourself from making comparisons and focus fully on building your happiness.
Keep in mind: every relationship is different. You must focus on learning how to love yourself more and understanding your partner’s feelings instead of trying to gauge how you or your partner holds up against everyone else. Other people’s lives can seem utterly glittering from the outside – but are hard to really know unless you are actually living them.
The Love You Make..
Loving yourself is not about selfishness but it is about believing in your own self-worth rather than relying on others to make you feel loved. As the Beatles song goes: “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make”. In other words, the more love you generate in yourself the more you can give to others and the more you will get back from them.
It takes commitment to learn to know yourself – and to really being true to yourself. Nurture yourself the way you would nurture a strong relationship. Work on developing all the things that make you happy within yourself. By that we mean everything from caring for your body (including pleasuring it) and cherishing your friends and family, to deepening your involvement with activities you really enjoy. Become confident in those things that float your boat. This makes you both more likely to attract the kind of person that has similar interests to you and, on the other hand, less likely to fall into toxic dependent relationships.
Relationships Should Be Partnerships Not Dependencies
When you have self-confidence and feel your own sense of self-worth, you are more likely to forge healthy relationships that are a partnership between two rounded people who choose to spend their time together. Sure, you should be important in each other’s lives – bringing joy, emotion, support and great lovemaking into the mix with each other – but it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all, so that, if it should end, whilst as they say, “breaking up is hard to do”, you will not find yourself destroyed at a very fundamental level. You’ll find yourself able to process the inevitable pain and bruising and get out into living life fully again all the more quickly and without damaging your essential sense of self-worth.
Whether you’re dealing with a partner, or relationships with close family, friends, or colleagues, you need to love yourself first to enhance how to relate to them. Note that it’s you who shows others how to handle and treat you in a relationship. If you don’t have self-respect or self-love, you may give people the green light to disrespect you.
Through self-love and self-respect, you set the standard of how you want to be treated in a relationship. When you genuinely have self-love and respect, you have zero tolerance for people who tend to treat you badly. You’ll also learn how to set boundaries, care for yourself, and make informed decisions in your relationship or in finding a new one. If you are searching for a partner you may want to visit one of the best online dating sites to find the right partner.
Allow yourself to be true to yourself and feel the way you feel, don’t hide or bottle up your emotions. They are important and a part of you, while they might not define you; they aren’t weaknesses either. Learning from your mistakes and being concerned not to repeat them can be beneficial. Do make sure to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and overthinking your past never helped anyone.
Be proud of yourself for what you’ve already achieved and don’t be shy from patting yourself on the back from time to time. And most importantly accept yourself for who you are now, you don’t need to change anything or do anything or be anyone else to be worthy of love. And of course share the love with everyone around you.
Work on Self-Growth
If you want to put your spiritual, psychological, and physical needs at the forefront, you should focus on yourself by deepening mindful practices. By staying in a state of awareness, you’ll concentrate on nourishing activities and keep away from slipping into behavior patterns that could hinder you from achieving more in life.
When you learn how to love yourself in a relationship, you will naturally find yourself doing good things for yourself that help you move forward in life. Self-love will help you build and enhance relationships: you will find yourself getting more sleep, eating healthily, exercising – and socializing and bonding with positive people.
You may not have wondered why it’s important to love yourself unconditionally – for you and in a relationship. The truth is that you are your own best friend! You deserve to be happy and treated well by your partner; why shouldn’t you do the same for yourself? Self-love in a relationship empowers you to value and treat yourself better by ensuring you are drawing on all the good things that make you happy.
Self-Love Is Not Selfish
Self-love and self-respect aren’t selfish, and you should never feel guilty about loving yourself first. Self-love will help overcome your insecurities and anything that might be preventing you from giving your relationship your best. Make it your mission to value self-love in your relationships. Feel free to use the comment section to share your views on self-love in relationships and ask any questions.
Miranda Davis is a freelance writer sharing the insights on how couples can shake up their love lives in and out of the bedroom. She enjoys discussing and writing on wellness, relationships, sex, psychology, parenting etc., and is currently doing specific research on these topics.