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Sex Advice | Lovemaking | Love Technique

10 Tips To Make Anal Safe, Exciting And Intensely Pleasurable.

Anal experimentation done right should open both partners to a whole new range of intensely pleasurable feelings. What should you know before trying it for the first time without pain or harm? Our simple but comprehensive tips will help you explore a novel kind of pleasure and lead to many benefits. It should majorly increase the intimacy between partners, adding a whole new dimension to your sexual diversity and range of activities.

Anal sex is no longer a taboo topic. There are even dating sites for fans of this pleasure. However, numerous myths and prejudices still surround this kind of sex. First off, it is completely healthy and shouldn’t cause pain if you do it right. Better, it can lead to the best orgasm of your life. And it certainly increases the likelihood of reaching your climax. One recent survey showed that a massive 94% of women having anal sex achieved orgasm, where, for women having vaginal sex reaching a climax was hovering under 50%.

Many people are naturally concerned that anal sex the first time can cause discomfort, such as pain in the anus, itching, or burning feelings. If so, you are probably not doing it right. So, we have put together a guide for how to prepare before you choose to try something as different – and often thought daunting by many – as anal sex. So, before going for it, how to prepare?

Prepare in Advance

The most important rule before sex is to prepare in advance. It should not be spontaneous or random. You should prepare correctly and take your time. It will help you avoid trauma, psychological barriers, and various sexual diseases.

Find Out if You Have Any Contraindications

You shouldn’t engage in anal sex if you are diagnosed with hemorrhoids, anal fissures, polyps, or other inflammatory processes in the colon. It can worsen the course of such conditions and lead to complications. Check with your doctor if you have any concerns.

Reach Mutual Desire

Anal sex is worth trying only if both partners are wholly content to try it. You don’t have to agree out of fear of losing your partner or a desire to please them. If only one partner expresses a desire, discuss it frankly. Although many people find it pleasurable (and you could reverse roles and try anal toys on a male partner!) it’s not for everyone, so don’t force yourself into it. As we say next, though, there are ways of experimenting whether you could find it a turn on before going all the way.

Try Other Anal Play First

A good way to get used to the feeling of being filled up back there is to begin with your own or your partners fingers. A great place for trying that is in the shower or bath with one or two soapy fingers stimulating the anal sphincter and then slipping gently inside. Beyond that you could also try specially designed butt plugs. They come in a range of sizes – both length and width. As you will need to do when you try with your partner, use plenty of lube – and the right one.

Use More Of The Right Lubricant

A major key to pleasurable and pain-free anal sex is to use plenty of lube – and the right one. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t provide its own natural lubrication as a result of sexual arousal. Water-based lubes can dry out, so go for silicone-based ones, which are thicker and longer lasting. You could also buy lubricants specially formulated for anal sex, which include a pain-relieving ingredient. They do that whilsty allowing your sensitivity to remain. Never use regular anesthetics, as they can make your skin numb. In that case, you may not feel that something is wrong and causing injury.

Don’t Forget About Condoms

During anal sex, microcracks can form, and any virus that you or your partner have can go straight into the bloodstream. In addition, the bacteria living in your rectum can get to your – and your partner’s – genitalia, which can trigger STIs, such as non-specific urethritis (NSU). And use a different condom for each sex act – e.g. going from vaginal penetration to anal sex. These are simple rules for anal sex hygiene.

Find a Comfortable Position

The most common positions for anal sex are lying on the side, sitting on top and doggy style. Whilst all these positions are suitable for beginners in minimising the likelihood of pain and discomfort during penetration, the best one for starters is spooning on your sides. The others can lead to deeper thrusting than you may be comfortable with. Experimenting with extreme positions from the very beginning is definitely not recommended for risk of injury to the rectum.

One great tip for the first time is to try it after you have already reached orgasm from clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration. That way your body will already be aroused and so more likely to be relaxed about going for anal sex.

Make Sure You Feel Good

Both partners must rely on their feelings. If you experience discomfort, for instance, if you didn’t have a bowel movement for the last 6-7 hours, then it’s better to pick another moment. If you go for a number two at a regular time each day – that can help with the timing. Mostly, waste is held higher up in the bowel, until you are ready to go – so likely not to be in reach of a toy or a penis. However, sometimes a small amount can come out. If you are very bothered, you could use an enema, though generally we don’t recommend it as it can cause irritation of the anus and lower bowel. Anal sex will only please you when nothing confuses you and you feel confident. Do the routine that makes you feel the best lover.

Give Feedback

Even during it – make sure you and your partner are both comfortable. Moans can be interpreted as expressions of pleasure when they could be of pain. It could make sense even to have a safe word to ensure there is no mistaking one for the other. After anal sex, be sure to discuss it with your partner, especially if this was your first time. Share if you were in any discomfort, when you felt good, and what you would like to change. Only complete frankness will allow you to achieve maximum pleasure.

Don’t Overdo It

Do not have anal sex too often. Proctologists recommend doing this no more than once in ten days. During this time, all possible wounds and injuries that you may not even think about will heal. If more often, then there is the slight possibility of problems with the sphincter. However, it is very unlikely to stretch the two sphinctal muscles – so unless you go crazy with anal sex, there is really no need to worry about it leading to incontinence.


So, if you want to enjoy the wonderful world of anal sex, please be careful and safe. Any kind of sex should bring pleasure and intimacy with a partner and not cause stress, infection or injury. Discuss everything before sex together, explore each other’s sensuality and have fun. We hope that our dos and don’ts will help you make your anal sex more comfortable and enjoyable.

Have you ever tried anal sex? Do you have any special tips for it? Feel free to contact us with your thoughts at support@loversguide.com

Author: Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.

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