Just like heterosexual couples, many lesbian couples worry about the safety of sexual activity during pregnancy. Strange as it may seem, doctors once thought lesbians were more likely to have miscarriages than other women, but there is no reason to avoid intimacy while you’re expecting.
Generally speaking, sexual activity is perfect safety during a normal pregnancy, although your doctor may advise against certain activities if you are considered a high-risk pregnancy.
However, sex is sometimes a difficult subject for pregnant lesbians and their partners. Many pregnant women have heightened senses and desires and want sex more, while others can lose their sex drives altogether.
Others have partners who are too scared of hurting the baby to fulfil their sexual desires. If you’re finding that sex has become a difficult subject to broach in your partnership, remember that most pregnant women really do crave intimacy, if not outright sex.
Touching, massage, kissing and holding are ways to stay intimate even if genital sex is not currently a turn-on. Keep in mind that most types of lesbian sexual contact, including gentle penetration, is safe for most pregnant women.
Things to avoid include deep thrusting, fisting or rough S&M play. Also, immediately stop any sexual activity that causes discomfort. It’s worth avoiding using sex toys like dildos and vibrators. Strap-ons could also cause problems as it’s difficult to feel where they are going sometimes.
Moving away from the physical side of things, pregnancy is so all-consuming that it often leaves very little emotional energy for anyone or anything else.
As a result of this, it’s important to indulge once in a while, and couples need to stay connected. Single mums may want to treat themselves to a professional massage given by someone knowledgeable in prenatal massage. Regular time with supportive friends and family is a must for single mums, who may feel isolated from the wider lesbian community during their pregnancy.
Couples should find time for each other with special dinners out or by indulging in a weekend out of town to have fun and renew their commitment to one another. Failing that, why not treat your pregnant girlfriend to a foot rub and a big slice of cake – or whatever else she might be craving!
A sensuous massage is not only relaxing and indulgent, but it also works well to bring you closer together at a time of heightened emotional awareness.
It’s not going to be an easy period of your relationship, but it should be something to celebrate, whatever the ups and downs. Staying intimate is key to keeping the relationship alive. Be sure to be understanding and take sex slowly. There is certainly no need to rush and, in the grand scheme of things, six to eight months without sex is no amount of time compared to the years spent together.