Masturbation amongst women has historically been something quite secretive and taboo. Many women have, throughout the ages, been made to feel ashamed of it and only in the last few years have women started to ‘come out’ in terms of enjoying masturbation and actually admitting it.
It can be a really lovely part of your lovemaking and help you to both understand what you enjoy sexually. If you understand what it is that turns you on, you should find it easier to communicate it to your girlfriend and vice versa.
By sharing masturbation, you can find an intimacy that will help you firm your relationship – be it on a purely sexual level, or going deeper than that.
Masturbation is an incredibly intimate and personal act, so it’s important to feel you trust the person you’re going to be doing it with. You’ll never be able to relax if there’s that nagging doubt about whether she’s going to tell the world about what you enjoy doing yourself, so do make sure it’s someone you feel comfortable with.
It might be worth remembering that women can experience orgasm very differently when they masturbate from when they are having sex – and whilst this may seem a surprise to your lover at first, it can also be used to our advantage. Use it as a time to teach about where you like to be touched, how fast or slow, what pressure to use and the exact motions you might enjoy.
You don’t necessarily need to be facing each other or feel like you are putting on a show – you could even blindfold each other and just talk her through what you are doing, how it feels and if you are about to experience orgasm. This is also a good way of picking up on how you sound when you are turned on. Anything that can increase awareness and sensitivity during this time can only be a good thing!
You will also begin to learn about what makes you wet and when you are ready to take things further than mutual masturbation, and it’s great for talking about your fantasies with each other too. It can do so much for breaking down barriers and forging bonds.
The most important thing to remember is that you go at a pace that suits you, do it with the right person and above all else – enjoy yourself – both of you!