Voyeurism is getting sexual excitement from watching others when they are naked or engaging in sex acts. Isn’t this something we all like? Hence the almost universal engagement with porn. With voyeurism, the pleasure is most commonly derived from watching others have sex in real life, though it can also extend to hearing others engage in sexual acts, or even being told about other people’s sexual experiences.
But it’s not the creepy, nonconsensual ‘Peeping Tom’ stuff that we’re talking about – but a consensual sexual activity. That should be considered normal – or if a sexual fetish, then actually one of the most common ones, according to the Journal of Sex and Research. So if you’re curious in the slightest about what voyeurism is, how to do it, why it turns people on, don’t worry, read on.
As we said, most people masturbate when they watch other people have sex on their screen, no? So yeah, it’s common to be at least interested in this sexual activity/fetish. Here are two people explaining why they get turned on by watching others engage in sexual acts together or masturbate:
‘Personally, I am really into voyeurism because it’s a different way to experience sex. You’re not in the sex act itself, but you’re seeing it, noticing what gives someone pleasure, seeing when someone moans the loudest in what position. It’s exhilarating,’ says Michelle, 25.
‘My girlfriend knows when I’m watching her which makes it super hot. It’s like her way to show off,’ says Michael, 34.
Consent in sex and voyeurism
However, there is good voyeurism and bad voyeurism, the difference being that can be done in a fun and consensual way, or in a non-consenting and harmful way. Voyeuristic disorder is actually in the diagnostic manual for psychiatric disorders, in which it is described as a persistent and intense sexual interest in spying on unsuspecting people nude or having sex. So in other words, make sure every sexual act you engage in with your partner has been consensually agreed upon and communicated beforehand (this goes for anything in the bedroom, btw).
So what are the ways you could spice up your sex life by incorporating voyeurism? First off, you could watch your partner shower or bathe. It could encourage them to be more sensual with their own body. The next step could be to watch them masturbate – itself tremendously informative on how they really turn themselves on. And you could add spice by encouraging your partner to lay on the bed and do their thing while you watch from the crack of the door. And if you have a really strong relationship that can stand really pushing the boat out, you could discuss bringing in another person to watch your partner have sex with.