The biggest obstacle to enjoying sex is not body size but body image. If you feel sexy, you will be sexy. Many people are overweight – with percentages as high as 40% in the U.S.A and over 35% in the U.K. That’s many millions of people – and many of them are having plenty of good sex.
Having said that, studies have shown that, of those, around 30% of overweight people experience difficulties having sex. If you do, there are many ways of improving your self-esteem and/or working on weight reduction. On the other hand, this means a whopping 70% of fat people having sex carrying extra pounds are doing just fine. A key point is not to buy into society’s idea of the perfect sexual body. And do allow your own sexuality and sensuality to thrive inside the body you have.
Celebrate fat sex!
As a couple, the true pleasure of sexuality is abandoning self-consciousness and giving yourselves over to the moment intensely. If, having sex, you’re fretting about this bulge or that flab or how your butt looks from every angle, it’s pretty difficult to enjoy the moment. And if you’re feeling that, worrying, it’s much harder, too, for you to be fully there for your partner. Remember – your partner wants to have sex with you, not with some unreal skinnier version.
So whatever size you are — from stick thin to generously ample — you need to feel comfortable and good about what you are doing, and that includes sex. Get happy in your own skin, prepared and confident. And there are no special secrets you need to know about how to have sex if you’re overweight. People of all shapes and sizes are getting it on all the time. The main thing is: feel empowered.
How do fat people have sex?
Props are an excellent addition to sex for overweight people, as they often provide additional support. The best props for sex don’t come from a sex store: you can find them in your bedroom. We’re talking about pillows and rolled-up towels. Use them to balance, relieve stress on joints, and get creative. Place them are under your head, knees, hips, or anywhere else you need some extra support, comfort, or lift. (But don’t ignore bringing in sex toys, too, if you’re both up for it.)
Sex positions for fat people
The most common sex position for everyone of any size is, of course, the missionary. If you are the one being penetrated, you will be lying on your back while your lover is on top of you, face to face, and penetrates you. A great trick here is to put some pillows under your hips. This pushes the genitals upwards, gives greater access, and allows abdominal flesh to fall back.
For the doggie sex position, where you are on all fours and your partner enters you from behind, you could try resting your head fully on the bed (or, again, on pillows) rather than trying to take the weight on your hands. If you have knee troubles, try lying fully face-down on the bed – but with pillows under your hips to give your partner better access to your genitals.
Woman-on-top sex positions can allow for deeper penetration. You can straddle your partner facing forward – or facing away. Usually this involves kneeling – with squatting taking a lot more effort (but go for it if you can and want!). If you find sitting upright difficult, you can lean onto your partner’s chest if face to face, or resting down on your partner’s legs if facing away.
The more you can work towards being with, accepting, and even loving your and your partner’s body, the more it can become part of your sexy fun times. Holding a belly or other areas of your partner’s body, or shifting to adjust into a nice position, can become an intimate part of your sex life rather than an obstacle. And your partner is going to love it even more when you apply mouth or hands to his/her sex organs before or during getting down to it. Stay in the moment, and in giving and receiving maximum pleasure, you’ll both end up feeling thoroughly satisfied.