Long before its depiction in endless number of internet porn videos, there was a famous erotic feature film simply called ‘Deep Throat’ (1972). It relied on the lead actress Linda Lovelace’s real-life capability for giving men a blow-job all the way down into her throat, hence the name. It brought this hardcore activity into the consciousness of millions and the phrase entered the language.
Because it involves the penis touching the soft palate and the tonsils, it triggers the gag reflex, and so is the most challenging of fellatio practices to perform. It can cause choking, coughing and even vomiting. Because of its difficulty and notoriety, there are many receivers – men and women – who feel fantastically sexy for having the skill. They can enjoy the feeling of being filled up, beyond their normal limits and dominated. Equally, for the person with the penis, it can be both an incredible fantasy and physical sensation to be swallowed whole. They may enjoy the tighter sensation it provides and the domination aspect.
Deep throat takes practice
Some may find it wholly unappealing and are appalled by the whole idea. Others who want to try it safely and comfortably need considerable practice before attempting it. Even then, not everyone will stay the course and reach the point where they can suppress their gag reflex. No-one should be coerced into it – or feel they only have to do it because their lover wants it.
For those who want to learn, begin by exploring and understanding your own gag reflex. Start with putting your fingers towards the back of your tongue and towards the epiglottis. At some point your body will react with this involuntary nerve response – which is there to defend you against choking. Continue the practice with safe objects – never use food, including bananas or sausages, phallic as they look. Pieces can break off and literally choke you (especially as you are likely to be practicing alone). Best go with a simple toothbrush handle or a dildo.
Push the object towards the back of the tongue and gently press down with it. Remove it if you feel uncomfortable or nauseous. If not, while ensuring you are breathing through your nose, not your mouth, slowly move the object further in. Hold it there for a little while. You should then repeat this as often as you are comfortable with and for increasing amounts of time.
Once you are fully aware of your gagging response and feel you can control it, then is the time for a first attempt with an actual penis. Let him know that this is your first time and that you have to stay fully in charge. Importantly, keep your hand on his shaft so that you can control the depth of his penetration. As his penis reaches into your mouth you are likely to feel your throat becoming constricted and your gagging coming on. Back him off a little, take breaths – and swallow (deep-throating usually causes way more saliva to be produced) – then try again. Taking the pressure off (literally) by giving yourself regular breaks will help you learn to work around the gag reflex. If you don’t want to take him out of your mouth in these pauses, you can direct his penis towards your cheek for a little while.
Positions for deep throat oral-sex
The angles and positioning you both adopt are key to your comfort and ability to sustain deep throating for any length of time. Many find that going down on his penis from above – as he lies there or sits – with you facing his feet. It gives you more power and control. Some say the 69 position can be ideal for the way the curvature of the penis fits into the mouth. Others suggest it is best to keep the receiver’s mouth and throat in a straight line. A popular way of doing this is for the receiver to lie face up on the bed, head over the edge, with the man standing (only use this position if there is complete trust in the man).
Breathing and rhythm are equally important. Breathe steadily through the nose and keep the movement gentle and regularly in sync with it. Ensure the penetrator is not allowed to push too forcefully or deeply.
Try increasing his pleasure by extending your tongue to stimulate the sensitive underside of his shaft. Use your hands to fondle or gently tug on his balls, rub his perineum or even insert a finger or dildo into his anus.
Then there’s the experience of ejaculation in deep throating. For this to be acceptable, it has to be fully consensual between the participants. For the person receiving the penis, they must be comfortable with the idea of semen going into their throat and be prepared for it. Apart from anything else, they need to consciously swallow in order for the ejaculate not to go into the lungs but down the digestive tract. Advanced deep throaters can even master the gag reflex to the point where triggering its rhythmic contractions make the ejaculating penis feel like it is being simultaneously milked.
People who enjoy deep throating say that it is uniquely erotic – turning them on like nothing else. There is tremendous fantasy-fulfillment in the act for both participants. Feeding ourselves can give tremendous oral satisfaction; swallowing a lover to the very base of his penis can be a massive turn-on.
Deep throating is clearly the most challenging form of oral sex – which is what makes it so passionate. To be safe, comfortable and then actually blown away by it (literally!) requires practice, patience, control, particularly for the one receiving the penis, and, importantly, solid communication between the participants. If you are a keen to try it, it can be your most powerful oral skill and a huge complement to a lover with a penis.