Image from the Lovers’ Guide video download Sexual Positions
‘When I have sex with my man, I like to ride him. Why? Because that’s the only way I have had an orgasm. I want to know how he can give me an orgasm without playing out that position.
‘This has been the first person I have ever had an orgasm with! I just actually felt and knew what an orgasm was about 1 yr ago. Ever since I have wanted that position because that orgasm feels really good!
‘What can I or he do?’
The Lovers’ Guide responds:
It certainly sounds like you enjoy being the one in control, setting your own pace and finding the angles that are just right for you.
Aside from general tips – about finding positions with lots of friction, having good foreplay and letting your mind and your fantasies go – it would be good to start with what you do and how you feel when you are on top.
Man-on-top sex positions don’t need to be passive for the woman. You can still share control – and that might be important for you and your ability to reach orgasm. Push back, pull him in, go for angles which allow for deeper penetration, depth generally being great in woman-on-top sex positions. We offer all sorts of advice about this in the sex positions section of the site.
That said, depth isn’t everything. It could be that you’ve discovered G-spot orgasms, or those orgasms rooted within the vagina – in which case you’re one of the lucky 25% of women. Perhaps try shifting the attention to the clitoris, if you haven’t been stimulating the clitoris enough until now. The more you learn about where your sexual pleasures come from, the more such pleasures you’ll have.
Also, with your partner, focus on what’s really doing it for you when you are on top, then try to find that in other sex positions.
Of course, it could also be that your partner needs training. Is he confident? Experienced? We’re sure he wants to please. So reassure him and work together to explore ways in which he can do it for you. We’ll bet he’ll appreciate the training – if the pressure to perform really is off and you both are happy to feel that this is an exploration.
Good luck!