This is a game about power and submission. Because it is a game it can help you enjoy those power positions, as it were in quotation marks. You are not ‘really’ submitting; you’re not ‘in fact’ in control. But you can have fun seeing how it might be if you were. For a day you can play out your fantasies in real time.
It’s also a game about finding out what you and he really want. Once you’ve got used to the idea of power – by having him fetch you breakfast in bed, go down on you, give you a scrub in the shower, serenade you with your favourite track from The Sound of Music, wear his hair in that new style you saw in a magazine – then you can start to explore what you really want, those urges you’ve never quite managed to mention, that perfect afternoon you’ve been penciling in for an unspecified future date, the toys you’ve always wanted to use, that position you don’t think could possibly work, the meal you’ve been fricasseeing in your head these last few eternities, the words you’ve longed for from his lips… You get the idea?
It’s a game. If you both want to play – and to take it in turns to play – you can use it to smash through your last few remaining inhibitions and let him see more of your inner life.
Needless to say, this has got to be consensual. You don’t want him suddenly stopping and taking his ball home. If that didn’t kill, it would at the very least dent the relationship. Use your knowledge of who he is to decide what he’ll go for. If you’re not sure, ask him the night before to establish the ground rules. ‘If I ordered you to dress up in drag, let me call you mother, spank me and escort me to Selfridges on a leash, would you do it?’ Possibly not, but who knows?
Remember as well, next week he’s the one with power. He can get his revenge!
Play to free yourself, live your fantasies and add extra oomph to your love life, not to hurt.