Is the western world into breasts like never before? In a world where women have taken on and bettered men’s traditional gender roles, breasts might seem a remaining visible sign of sexual difference. With both sexes wearing the trousers, often men – and women – see breasts as a sexual difference not to hide. As female power is recognized, so in the sexual arena, master the art of pleasing yourself and your partner sexually using yours.
Big-breasted women
The media – Hollywood stars, pop-icons, porn-stars – worship breasts in a totally unnatural way which makes many women feel insecure and men dissatisfied. Clever photography and posing can do wonders for a modestly endowed woman, but the viewer sees only the finished shot.
Since the 1940s Hollywood era of film stars, boys have grown up with idea that big breasts are sexy. The combination of looks, plus a general belief that big-breasted women are more interested in sex, attracts men to such women.
However, it seems that society’s ideal breast image is slowly changing. The ideal woman, as portrayed by the modern media, is neither very slim, nor very curvy. She is neither particularly big, nor small breasted.
Other influences
Fashion, advertising and male conditioning all contrive to make women increasingly breast-conscious, and this leads some women to see the role of their breasts as exclusively sexual.
This means that when things go wrong (they find a lump, for example) they are too terrified to go to a doctor in case it means that their main sexual symbol will have to be removed. On average, a woman with a lump in her breast waits six months before seeking medical help. This delay would not occur if the lump were on another, less important, part of her anatomy.
Self-exploration
As a young girl’s breasts develop, she experiments with handling them and soon finds that it feels good. Some girls go through a phase of allowing other girls to handle their breasts and this is completely normal. Many of us go through a homosexual stage during our sexual development but this is usually a prelude to heterosexual relationships.
Breasts and sexual arousal
During the earliest phase of sexual arousal, the first sign that anything is happening is that the nipples become erect. This comes about as the tiny, smooth muscles in them contract.
Touching by the woman herself, or her partner, usually hastens erection but this is not essential. The nipples increase in length and diameter as the woman becomes more excited and blood collects in and around them. This mechanism is rather like that which causes a penis to become erect.
Size and sensitivity
The size of the breasts and nipples has no bearing on how responsive they are sexually. Some women have exquisitely sensitive nipples which, when stimulated, bring them to orgasm within seconds, while other women’s nipples are almost totally unresponsive.
Generally, mouth stimulation (sucking and gentle licking) produces faster nipple erection than does stimulation with the fingers.
The excitement phase of sexual arousal
Once the nipples are erect, the patterns of veins on the breasts often become more marked and the breasts begin to swell. This swelling is most obvious in women who have not breastfed. Later on in this excitement phase, the areolae swell and, in light-skinned women, the breasts may become covered with a faint fed flush or measle-like rash.
The plateau phase
The next stage of sexual arousal is known as the plateau phase. During this, the breasts swell more and the areolae especially become swollen.
Orgasm
At orgasm itself, women experience all kinds of sensations, some of which are related to their breasts. Some women like their breasts or nipples held very hard or even squeezed as they have an orgasm. Because the intensity of the other changes in the body is so great, it is easy for a man to damage his partner’s breasts or nipples as she comes because she is much less sensitive to pain.
It makes sense to draw a line between what a couple finds pleasant and stimulating and what seems to produce damage. This is particularly true of biting the breasts or nipples during intercourse, so care is called for.
Resolution
Once orgasm is over, the first thing that happens is that the areolae return to normal. This marks the onset of the final phase of the sexual arousal cycle – the resolution phase. This change in the areolae gives the impression that the nipples are becoming erect again, but this is not so. They are simply more visible as the surrounding areas begin to subside.
At this stage many women do not want their breasts touched, because they are tender or so pleasantly ‘satisfied’ that further stimulation is positively unpleasant. Unlike men, though, many women are capable of several orgasms in quite rapid succession.
Breast-play – foreplay
Almost all women say that they like their breasts to play some part in their lovemaking. However, it is unfortunate that many men do not pay enough attention to their partner’s breasts.
Many women complain that men are too rough (especially squeezing their breasts too much). They also find their partner places too much emphasis on breast-play too early in sexual arousal.
Another complaint – as so often in any sexual activity, common to both sexes – is that the man fails to ask what the woman herself would like. Many women play with their breasts and nipples when they masturbate, and could easily tell their men what they most like, if only they were asked.
What women want sexually
There are a number of things that a man can do to his partner’s breasts to increase her pleasure – both in foreplay and during intercourse.
- Watch her as she masturbates. Take note of how she plays with her breasts and at what stage. Does the pressure increase as she approaches orgasm? What seems to stimulate her most?
- Be gentle. Use the palm of your hand to brush lightly over her breasts. There are also a number of oils available – although baby oil is as good as any – that can be gently massaged into them. Go slowly around one breast at a time, leaving the nipples until last.
- Be guided by what she likes. Her nipples may become so sensitive that she finds direct stimulation painful.
- Be imaginative. Use other parts of your body to tease and excite her.
- Use your mouth together with your hands. Caress her elsewhere on her body or caress the other breast as well. As an added variation you can try using food or wine and eating and drinking them off her breasts.
- Use your penis. Tease and excite her by touching her with your penis, but do not ejaculate unless that is what she wants. Use it to trace a path around each breast.
What men want sexually
There are few bigger turn-ons for a man than when his partner uses her body to tease and excite him. For the woman, this can be both exciting and flattering as she finds that she can use her breasts ‘to bring her partner to a pitch of arousal – perhaps even to orgasm.
Teasing
The breasts can be used on their own, or in conjunction with the rest of a woman’s body, to arouse her partner just about anywhere. Here the woman can take an active role and allow the man to lie back and enjoy what she is doing.
- Trace a path with one, or both, of your breasts. Cover the whole length of his body, avoiding only his genitals at this stage. Use your nipple to trace a light fluttering path and alternate this with pressing your breasts flat against his body.
- Turn him over. Do the same over his back, using your nipples to trace a path over and between his buttocks.
- Use your nipples to tease his eyes, mouth and ears. Tease him by not letting him take the nipple into his mouth before finally giving in. Remember, you are in control and part of the turn-on for the man will be in seeing what you are doing. Keep your hands busy elsewhere if you want to. If he wants to touch your breasts as you do this, let him, but be sure that you stay in control.
- Tease his breasts with yours. Some men have extremely sensitive nipples, others do not. If your man does, try putting some saliva – his or your own – on to your breasts and rub them sensuously against his nipples.