True intimacy can be a challenge to achieve and many people are wary of risking it. A lot of guys we meet are up for sex and many interpret the slightest touch or confidence as a sexual come-on, which can be a real bore, but sex is not merely quite different from intimacy; it can actually get in the way.
He’s dumped you. What advice is on offer here? Pick yourself up? Get over it? Life moves on? Well, it does, in the end. You will – but that won’t happen straight away. There’s more than a little unhappiness to get through first. Rule one: don’t be ashamed of admitting that and letting it happen.
The first time, or several times, that you have a boyfriend, it can be the case that there’s an explosive release of hopes, dreams, desires and pent-up emotions. You feel you’re in love and, finally, now is your chance to join and be massively intimate with a fellow gay human being. Maybe the relationship will last a long time. Perhaps it will burn itself out in a few dizzy weeks or months. Either way, while there are no rigidly fixed rules, these are the rules.