What’s made for your most memorable lovemaking ever?

We all have experiences of lovemaking which stand out in the memory, which we treasure and which we might hope to relive. What made those times so memorable – and how can we reach those dizzying heights again? Here are some of our suggestions – then, on the LoveSpace forums, tell us yours!

Signature sex moves

What do you do that drives your partner wild? What does he or she do? Perhaps it’s the way you undress. It could be before undressing – the softest, lingering touch through light fabrics, the kiss… Or maybe those perfect mouth manoeuvres, the hand-work or those cunning little twists you add to your favourite positions.

Great sex is in large part about great technique. Does your partner know what really does it for you? If not, tell or show them – without suggesting that’s what your previous partners have done for you. And when they get something exactly right, praise them and ask them to do it again.

No matter how much we know we like, we can always experiment. Try new sex positions and sex play skills and you’re almost guaranteed to find unexpected delights. You’ll find a wealth of suggestions on the Lovers’ Guide site – take a look at our video downloads to start with – and we’d love to hear your ideas.

A Lovers’ Guide visitor writes: ‘My favourite position is lying on my back at the edge of the bed.  My husband stands with my legs around his neck.  Great for deep penetration.  It’s even better when he uses his hands to give my nipples a little tweak.’

A new partner

Great sex is also about the chemistry. When we look back on our most memorable experiences, we often find that they’ve been with a new partner. In the first months and up to around the first two years of romance, our bodies flood with chemicals which make us euphoric, especially in the presence of our lover. Endorphines such as phenylethylamine are responsible for what some have called the madness of love. We become infatuated, craving the presence of our lover – and it’s that craving for a person we see as being perfect which can make sex extraordinary.

Of course, we don’t experience any of this in so scientific a way. Still, when the initial euphoria fades, it can be good to know what’s happening. Some people look for new lovers at this point, hooked on the thrill of fresh romance. For the rest of us, the feeling of exhilaration can be recaptured in other ways. Breaking sexual routines, trying new sex play techniques and exploring fantasies can inspire fresh passion. In the relationship as a whole, sharing exciting experiences can have a real impact on lovemaking. In life as a whole, we can keep growing and looking for new experiences. The euphoria won’t be quite the same but can be differently fabulous.

And returning to our chemical brains for a moment, we can relish the intimacy, love, trust and bonding hormones which grow as a relationship develops – and which can lead to the best sex of all.

A Lovers’ Guide visitor writes: ‘I would like to say that sex is the matter of communication between two people who share the same emotions and love each other. It is not about techniques and positions. We have sex without planning. It is more satisfying than planning and controlling.’

Pressure release

The thrill of sex and the pleasure of orgasm hinges partly on the release of pent up tensions. For that explosive feeling, something has to be there to explode. Thankfully, it needn’t take much for that to happen!

A busy, pressured day – a full life – can be enough to make us want to spend ourselves in sex. While too much stress can switch us right off, a little can have quite the opposite effect. And this release comes through dwelling on thoughts of our partner as well. Think of all you love most about your partner – then when you meet, let it show.

Time and place

Sex at night, before sleep, can be wonderfully comforting but isn’t likely to lead to our most memorable experiences. It’s when we break routines that we find unexpected pleasures and revive what might have become jaded appetites. We become more alert and highly sensitized – and we communicate this to each other through sex.

Well, we can’t have sex on the beach all the time – and if we did, that too could become rather boring. What we can certainly do is move sex from the half past ten slot. A quickie at lunchtime, a whole afternoon devoted to lingering lovemaking, a summertime stint in the great outdoors – the possible ways of varying when and where we have sex are almost endless.

A Lovers’ Guide visitor writes: ‘The most awesome sex I ever had was when I was 17 and staying with my boyfriend’s parents. My partner and I were trying to be incredibly quiet while he gently licked my clitoris but I couldn’t because of the intensity. Having a drumkit in the room came in handy as he decided to enter me while playing the drum while I straddled the kit, just so I could orgasm without anyone thinking something was going on in his room!’

Your best sex ever

We’d love to hear and publish your stories about your most memorable experiences of lovemaking. What made it so perfect? How does it stand out for you? Do you think you could make love like that again?

To tell all, join the LoveSpace community site – click through here.

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Posted in Creative Lovemaking, Sex