It was Sigmund Freud who set the tone for twentieth century advice as to the superior qualities of vaginal orgasm, rather than clitoral. Vaginal orgasm, he claimed, was the more ‘mature’ orgasm – and for much of the century that was the orthodox line. Still, though, many women do indeed report that clitoral stimulation alone, and the resultant orgasm, just isn’t as good as the ‘real thing’. So what’s the truth of the matter?
Vaginal orgasm as maturity
Freud saw women as progressing from an immature stage, that of the clitoral orgasm, to a mature phase in which they would realise the full power of vaginal orgasm. Women who failed to obtain the latter pleasure were seen by Freud as being immature.
In large part, this was nonsense and, as the twentieth century progressed and sexual and female liberation were increasingly achieved, the clitoris was recognised once again, as it had been in ancient and not-so-ancient times, as being the seat of orgasmic pleasure.
Far and beyond and other form of stimulation, it is clitoral stimulation which leads to arousal and orgasm. But there is a ‘however’.
Beyond clitoral stimulation
We should emphasise now that clitoral stimulation is the principal way of achieving orgasm. If, during foreplay, sex or masturbation, clitoral stimulation is not offered/received, your chances of reaching orgasm are significantly lessened.
That said, for the most powerful orgasms, penetration, together with the emotional involvement and emotional release afforded by making love with their partner, add up for many women to better orgasms.
Perhaps this is what Freud was getting at. Great sex, fully emotionally involved sex, can be a lot better than a session with your vibe. Or: sex with a much-loved partner beats masturbation. Q.E.D.
Emotional aspects of orgasm
The quality of many women’s orgasm does depend on their vicarious sense of their partner’s pleasure. As to whether this is a good or a bad thing, that’s up to you.
Some women do report that they are only able to let go and give way to the release of orgasm when they feel their partner has done so first. One thing this does is to highlight the importance of your state of mind when it comes to letting orgasm happen.
Some women report that they feel their partner’s ejaculate as it is emitted. This could be seen as doubtful. What is more likely happening is that they know their partner is ejaculating – and they can certainly feel his orgasm happen through his whole body – and so they imagine the physical feeling of his ejaculating inside him. The ejaculate becomes a way they visualise the emotional thought that their partner is spending himself in them – and leaving something of his very self behind in them.
This emotional aspect of vaginal orgasm, orgasm through penetrative sex, may play a hugely significant part in the greater pleasure many see as being attainable through full penetrative sex, rather than clitoral stimulation without penetration
The physiology of vaginal orgasm
There is also a physiological side to vaginal orgasm – i.e. the way you may experience vaginal orgasm as better is down to your body’s design.
The clitoris extends quite far inwards from the visible tip. Therefore, vaginal penetration can stimulate more of the clitoris, through the vaginal wall.
Stimulation of the urethra can be pleasurable to both sexes. Vaginal penetration achieves this, through the vaginal wall.
There are the para-urethral glands or Skene’s glands to consider – thought of as being the key to female ejaculation. Vaginal penetration stimulates this area of a woman’s body, through the G-spot area of the vaginal wall.
There are the sensitive nerve endings especially concentrated around the entrance to the vagina. A penis or a dildo helps stimulate these.
In other words, vaginal penetration has more of a woman’s pleasure points going for it than does clitoral stimulation alone.
Combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation
Let’s put this briefly: indulge in lots of foreplay before you have full, penetrative sex, then use sex positions which emphasise clitoral stimulation while having sex.
When masturbating, clitoral stimulation is foremost, but you might want a dildo to penetrate your vagina with – or use a rabbit vibrator.
It’s up to you which approaches you prefer. Experiment and enjoy.