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Oral sex tips for men

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Women love oral sex. Show your woman how much you love her and become a more intimate lover by giving your oral sex skills a make-over.

A man's mouth can be highly erotic and arousing when used in the right way on almost any part of a woman's body. In reality, oral sex includes the kissing and sucking of any part of her body – but, unfortunately, most people concentrate on the genitals to the exclusion of other oral pleasures.

Almost all women enjoy oral sex that does not involve the genitals. They see it as romantic as it shows how much their man loves them. But when it comes to having their genitals kissed, licked and sucked, things can be rather different.

Some women see this as the most intimate thing a man can do to – and for – them, and so greatly value it as a sign of his total love. Others think of their genitals as dirty and naughty and they cannot imagine anyone liking them, let alone wanting to kiss them.

At least some of these women can be persuaded to change their minds if, once they are aroused by clitoral or other stimulation, the man gently but firmly starts to kiss first around the vulval area and then the clitoris. Be careful not to tickle – and either have a proper beard or have shaved – and make every effort to reproduce with your tongue what your partner does herself during masturbation, and you'll soon overcome her inhibitions.

Men, experiment to see what your partner likes best – which might vary according to the time of month. Try the sides of the clitoris, stimulating the clitoris through the clitoral hood. When licking the tip of the clitoris, keep your tongue soft, not tensed – and be warned: for some women this stimulation can be too intense. If in doubt, ask your partner what she likes and encourage her to tell you what she'd like you to do.

Non-genital oral sex

But don't stampede for the clitoris. Lie alongside your partner face to face. Kiss her face gently all over, not forgetting to suck her ear lobes, if she likes it. Kiss her mouth, lips and tongue and arouse her further by caressing her body with your hands. The beauty of almost all the oral sex positions is that they leave the hands free to caress and arouse other parts of the woman's body.

Move down her body so that your head is on a level with her breasts. From here you can kiss her breasts, suck her nipples, put the whole of a breast in your mouth or blow on her nipples.

Run your tongue around her nipples and probe deeply with it into her breasts under the nipple and areola. Never bite, except very gently, and then not as she climaxes – because you could then do damage when she is not as sensitive to pain.

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Travel downwards

Now move your mouth down onto her stomach. Lick and kiss her navel and run your mouth and lips all over her stomach, round and round in circles. Work down towards her vulva but, at this stage, don't touch it – either with hands or mouth.

Lie in between your partner's feet, perhaps kneeling on the floor at the end of the bed. You can now kiss and suck her toes and feet. Some women love this to the point where they'll almost reach orgasm, even if the rest of their body isn't touched. It's good as well for the woman who likes to caress her own breasts and/or clitoris while her partner kisses and caresses her feet.

Oral sex positions

Once your partner has been aroused by non-genital oral contact, she'll probably be very receptive to genital oral sex. This is the best time to try, but go gently if she has any qualms. The best position is probably with the woman lying flat on her back with legs apart. The man lies between her legs so he can easily lick, kiss and suck any part of her genitals. A major problem here can be neck-ache, so prevent this by putting a pillow or two – depending on how saggy your bed is – under her hips. This will raise the vagina and bring it into a good position.

This position is good for licking and kissing the clitoris but less so for putting the tongue into the vagina or caressing the perineum or anus.

A good variation of this position is for the woman to lie in the same way, but for the man to turn around to face her feet. He now has his genitals over her face and she can suck and kiss his penis, if that's what they both enjoy. If not, he can angle his body so that she does not have his genitals in her face.

By supporting himself on his elbows, the man can kiss his partner's vulva and clitoris very easily. The main precaution here is to make sure not to put too much weight on the woman's body. It should all be on the man's knees and elbows. In this position, the man can reach under his partner's thighs, pull them apart and open the outer lips to give the best possible access for oral sex. The skilful man can even insert the fingers of one hand – or both – into the vagina while kissing the clitoris and the vulval area. This is also an excellent position for the couple who like to use a dildo or vibrator in the woman's vagina while she is being caressed orally. The man can watch it going in and out and the woman's hands are free to caress him – and she can suck his penis if she wants to.

Try also having oral sex with the woman lying with her hips on the edge of the bed, her feet flat on the floor. The man kneels between her thighs and kisses and rubs her vulva and clitoris. As she becomes more excited, the woman can pull her thighs back to her chest, but still keeping them apart so that he has access to her open vulva. This is an exceptionally good position for the woman who likes her man to insert his tongue into her vagina.

All of this can be tried with the woman lying on a table – which is in many ways more comfortable for the man because he has to bend down less.

You can also try woman-on-top positions for oral sex. The man lies flat on his back and the woman kneels over his chest and gives him access to her vulva to kiss. She has control of the movement – and she's able to caress his penis. For an alternative woman-in-charge approach – which is tinged with an element of power-play – the woman can stand while her partner kneels in front of her.

Finally, for the adventurous couple, the man can lie down on his back with his knees drawn up. The woman now kneels over his face, legs wide apart, facing him, with her vulva over his mouth. She then leans backwards onto his knees and relaxes with her head over his knees. The vulva is exceptionally wide open – and the man can push his tongue into her vagina and caress her vulva and clitoris with his mouth.

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