Your sex positions advice: you've told us
You’ve responded in high style to our first call for you to share your sex advice – and it’s great to hear of such varied and vibrant love lives. Here’s a taste of what you’ve sent in so far.
‘Over the edge’ is this visitor’s position of choice. She writes: ‘My favourite position is lying on my back at the edge of the bed. My husband stands with my legs around his neck. Great for deep penetration. It's even better when he uses his hands to give my nipples a little tweak.’
And this raised face-face-position, the ‘anvil’ might help those of you who might find reaching orgasm difficult at times. This visitor writes: ‘When I find it hard to reach an orgasm, my favourite position is putting some pillows under my lower back and putting my legs on my mate’s shoulders. It makes it so much easier to reach an orgasm, is quick and very enjoyable.’
Of course, great sex is more than about the positions. One visitor writes: ‘I would like to say that sex is the matter of communication between two people who share the same emotions and love each other. It is not about techniques and positions. We have sex without planning. It is more satisfying than planning and controlling.’
And there can be some very inventive ways of achieving intimacy. Try this visitor’s suggestion if you dare! ‘My wife and I were going through a bad time (intimacy wise) until one night when I got some pens and paper out and played a simple game where you write down your guilty secrets, i.e. a permission list (a joking list of celebrities you are allowed to sleep with), turn-ons and turn-offs and fantasies. Once finished, we swapped. The results of my little game meant we learned a lot about what we liked and disliked, and now we are getting on great, though she does like me to dress like Tom Cruise from Top Gun – hey ho! I would recommend playing this game as it resulted in fits of giggles for us both (strange names on the permission list). I now feel closer to my wife than ever before.’
Foreplay, need it be said, isn’t just something a man should do to please his partner and help her achieve orgasm. Try this visitor’s suggestion at home: ‘I love a massage. One wonderful experience was when my wife had been using Ylang Ylang massage oil and chose to massage the tip of my erect penis - WOW! I can still feel the sensations when I think about it. I tell you, the sensations are much better with Ylang Ylang than if she rubs/sucks the tip after you've ejaculated.’
If you think the G-spot is something of a myth, this suggestion might make you reconsider: ‘We like it when my wife lies on her stomach with her legs spread and I straddle her. I insert my penis from behind while sitting up. As I thrust my penis hits her 'G'-spot, which gets her going. Plus it is visually stimulating for me as I can see the connection.’
We aren’t quite sure how to picture this position, but it sounds very much like ‘spooning’: ‘The side-by-side doggy-style give me and my partner greater excitement as I have deeper penetration and can feel the whole body of my partner’s behind. Holding the boobs is interesting and adds to her pleasure too. I know it’s nice and interesting but it’s good only when the man is well endowed and the lady is slim. Not very easy with ladies with big bums.’
This visitor highlights the thrill of doing something different: ‘We love spontaneous love making, like the time we were dropping off some things at my brother's house. They were away on vacation and we walked into an empty house. While my wife was putting the bags of stuff in their bedroom, I sneaked up behind her. I had grabbed a towel and I used it to blindfold her. As I grabbed her from behind I whispered in her ear that she must comply with everything I asked her to do "or else". I began to kiss her and caress her. Before I knew what was happening, she whipped around and ripped my clothes off. We made passionate love right there. We still talk about it to this day.’
When the woman always reaches orgasm from one position, we suggest it probably has a lot going for it! ‘My wife and I enjoy multiple positions. However, the one used for "her utmost pleasure" is a scissor position, so I can rub her clitoris simultaneously. After some foreplay, we get into this position with her on her back and me on my side between her legs with my penis aimed directly towards her vagina. I rub her vagina and clitoris until she is well primed and then I enter her rubbing her clitoris with me inside of her. This provides enough stimulation for me and loads of stimulation for her. She ALWAYS orgasms from this position. She has some explosive orgasms with me with the vaginal entry and the clitoral stimulation. This is our bread and butter to provide us both sexual satisfaction. Plus it leaves an arm open to either circle her breasts or place some pressure on her mound, which also adds to the pleasure.’
And if a squeaky, sloppy mattress is getting you down, this piece of advice might be for you: ‘Well, Kitty and I discovered something which I suppose shouldn't surprise me so much, but it did. It's better on the floor. Nice carpet helps. But Man! We were on the bed, and we were just going this way and that, like a waterbed with none of the fun noises. Then I wondered if we wouldn't do better on the living room floor. Boy was I right. It was like zooming in on the whole thing; it all came into focus. Once we got on the floor it wasn't going this way and that way anymore. It was spot-on. PS... Carpet is recommended, certainly; be a knee-flattener otherwise.’
Thank you all for your advice and stories – and keep them coming.
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