The big 'O' - understanding the female orgasm

Women vary enormously in the ease with which they reach orgasm. A few need only slight stimulation to reach a climax - even just fantasising may be enough. Almost every woman can reach it during masturbation. And a very few never reach it at all. The majority, though, reach orgasm sometimes, or with some partners, and there are some women who are unsure about whether what they experience is an orgasm or not.

The technical details

Orgasm is a reflex reaction, and like any reflex it can be inhibited and its intensity will vary according to your psychological state. It is usually triggered by contractions of the clitoris and felt as a series of intense pulsations within the vagina. Nearly every woman can reach orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris alone, though very few can reach it just through penile thrusting, with no clitoral stimulation. A woman needs continuous stimulation to reach orgasm. If stimulation stops, the sensations will die away, however near she is to reaching a climax.

Learning to let go

Orgasm depends on your ability to ‘let go’, to relax and let sensations take you over. Tiredness, anxiety and tension can all make it more difficult for you to concentrate on your own feelings and reach orgasm. Feelings of resentment or anger towards your partner that make you hold back emotionally and inhibit your sexual responsiveness, can make it almost impossible. There are other emotional obstacles to orgasm, for example negative feelings about sex and, for some women, a fear of losing control. If you are the kind of person who likes to stay in control of yourself and your emotions, the idea of being carried away by orgasm can seem very frightening.

index: female orgasm