Tips for a loving Christmas
Christmas is a sensual time of year. We’re bombarded with smells, colours and seasonal tastes, all enticing us to spend, spend, spend – and indulge. So, with your lover, indulge.
Fantasise
On your way home, think about ways you could treat your partner. Simply allowing your thoughts to dwell on your partner can be a great way of renewing your sense of the value of your relationship – and of where your love life might be heading next! The dark evenings are fantasy spaces. Lose yourself in a winter wonderland reverie, just as you did as a child, but make your fantasies adult!
Treat your partner
Give way to temptation when you pass the shops: gifts don’t have to be saved up for Christmas day. Unexpected flowers or a bottle of champagne show your partner your thoughts have been with them – and set the tone for a romantic night in ahead. Yep, just taking time in to be with each other is romantic.
A word of caution: gifts of sex toys might need discussing with your partner in advance. And, men, if you're buying sexy lingerie, make sure it is the sort of quality product she'll like - and would buy for herself. Still, there's no need to be too shy: on the day itself, a gift of a book about sex can get you both giggling – and pave the way for some pre-parental-visit fun!
Nest and cuddle
While the summer season takes us outdoors, the nesting instinct can tend to be stronger at Christmas. Simply cuddling up with your partner in front of the TV can be great, but there’s room to be more loving than that! Switch it off. Play music instead – and drop the carols in favour of raunchy love tracks or gooey romantic ballads, or try opera.
Hold your partner. Lose yourselves in each other. You don’t have to be having sex all the time! Prolonged physical contact, loving touch and kissing help to get you feeling bonded and close. For massage, try using oils scented like Christmas cake. Show your partner you love just being with them.
Create your Christmas love grotto
When you’re preparing the house to look Christmassy, use fun, glitzy decorations, sure, especially if you have children, but keep the bedroom, at the very least, sensual. When the rest of the world goes mad, this is your safe space, your love grotto.
You might use candles for subtle, warm lighting, or try fairy lights, which will let you see each other without being overwhelming. Bring some evergreen leaves in and use potpourri. Above the bed, try hanging a sexy advent calendar, each box for each day containing a request – or demand – for techniques and positions you’d like to try with your partner that day!
Commitment
Use Christmas and the turning of the year as a chance to recommit to your relationship. Just as, individually, you might look back on the year gone and anticipate the next year to follow, so celebrate the time lived so far with your partner, and enjoy the thought of your relationship maturing further. Plan for the year ahead. There might be significant life-steps to contemplate, or just a holiday destination you’d like to visit. Share aspirations with your partner.
Don't stress!
And relax. If it’s all in danger of becoming too hectic, stuff the turkey and take yourselves off for a chilled out walk. Drop the kids off at grandma’s and go to the pub – though avoid excess alcohol, which can tend to be anything other than calming. Plan the Christmas day chores in advance to avoid getting stressed – and make sure the visiting arrangements are the result of discussion and compromise, not imposed by one on the other.
And enjoy
Above all, use the Christmas break to enhance your relationship. Don’t get lost in the mayhem. With a little thought and some planning, it can be the ideal time to indulge your love.
