Spot the secret signs of flirting. Girls, get to grips with male body language flirting – and guys, if you’re flirting with women, learn how to do it right and see whether they really are keen on you.
Might they be up for it? There are certainly times when the signs are none too subtle – the inhibitions are down, restraint has gone out of the window, and you’d be well advised to listen to that second opinion from your least sozzled of friends.
More often, a complex social dance ensues. There may be deliberate signals – and it’s fair to say men’s body language flirting with women can tend to be on the rudimentary side. Much of our flirting body language is, though, unconscious – but that doesn’t mean you can’t deliberately shape it and check their flirting technique to make sure you know what they’re really thinking of you.
Flirting with women – Men’s signals
Men’s flirting technique can be relatively limited. Fine: after all, it’s the girl who makes the first move, though the guy might not know it. With a fair degree of accuracy, you can guess a guy is flirting from the way he’s clearly looking for someone’s attention. The gestures he speaks to his friends with expand. He exaggerates his body language – to a greater or lesser extent – and his voice might sound as if he’s projecting to more than his immediate group of friends.
Men’s flirting body language extends, during this initial stage, to his detaching himself from his company. He’ll pull back from them slightly, making sure that you have a good view. How do you know it’s you? Well, has he looked yet? Briefly? Occasionally? Surreptitiously? If not, he’s about to.
Once he has your attention – and through the point where you actually meet and chat – his flirting signals do become a little more subtle. Check for the following. Men: do this!
<ul><li>His face and body language ‘open’. He’s putting himself on display and looking receptive. His eyebrows raise, the eyes widen, the lips part slightly – even the nostrils flare. What this means is that he’s taking away the blocks he might use in his more lad-oriented life and inviting you to see and engage with the sensually sensitive real him.<br /></li><li>He’ll stand tall – and look manly. He’ll square off and pull himself up to his full height, displaying his prowess – and he’ll make sure you have time to admire him.<br /></li><li>He’ll draw your eyes towards his groin. It’s basic but that’s what he’s up to. He’ll sit with his legs apart. If standing, he’ll hook his thumbs over his belt, or leave them outside his pockets, this both opening his posture and pointing to the meat of the matter, inviting you to contemplate what he’s got there.<br /></li><li>He’ll touch and preen himself. In part, this is nervousness and self-consciousness. It’s also because he wants to look good for you – if he’s smoothing a collar or tie, or any piece of clothing for that matter – and it’s an auto-erotic gesture: he’s thinking sensually because of you.<br /></li><li>He’ll get closer. He’ll move into your space – and, ultimately, start to offer touch.<br /></li><li>His eyebrows rise – and remain raised. In the first instant of seeing you, the brief, almost-unfakeable flash of a brow is a clear sign of interest. Then, as you talk, the brows remain raised – as a signal he finds your conversation intriguing.</li></ul>
Flirting tips for girls – Could she be yours?
It’s a girl’s non-verbal flirting signals that give a guy the green light to approach her. Guys, if you’re not sure, look for several of these signs of flirting. One alone means little or nothing – her lips felt dry; she has an itch or a stiff neck – but when the signs come together, she’s up for it!
<ul><li>She’ll give good face. From a distance, you might get a direct look, prolonged eye contact, smiling – and it couldn’t be a great deal clearer than that. If she’s a little more shy, there’ll be short, repeated glances. Get on over!<br /></li><li>She follows the flirting triangle. Her eyes move between your eyes and your mouth – and linger increasingly on your mouth. Yes, she’s thinking of kissing you. There’s also the corollary effect that this will make you want to kiss her more.<br /></li><li>She’ll stroke and show her intimate and erogenous zones. Stroking her neck is autoerotic in itself – but does have the added advantage of lifting her breasts and exposing (erotic and pheromone-rich) armpits. Sitting, a display of her inner thigh gives a cheeky invitation to think about going higher. She’ll stroke her thigh – and face, and arms… She’ll turn her wrists towards you – displaying and thinking about her most highly sensitised areas.<br /></li><li>She’ll check your body. It began with your face. Now, if she’s really interested, you’ll see her gaze drifting lower. You’ve past the first test and now she wants to see if you’re really hot.<br /></li><li>She’ll get closer – and she’ll draw you in closer too. She’ll whisper, so that you’re obliged to draw close, and move her face forwards into your intimate space.<br /></li><li>She’ll push objects towards you. Again, she’s entering into your space. If she leaves her hand there, touch it.<br /></li><li>She’ll preen her clothes and hair and lick her lips – looking her best for you. </li></ul>
Well, now you’ve both established you’re interested, the rest of your finely honed social skills spring to the fore. Relax, smile and communicate. Get to know him or her and don’t hurry it. But do keep flirting – and do keep checking the signs.