Has that man of yours been hankering for a little action by way of the back door? Has he asked outright for anal sex? Or does anal sex as yet remain a hesitant, wistful longing, showing up as the dominant motif of his internet browsing history? Does he want to do it to you? If so, great: because now it’s his turn to get on the receiving end. To chew pillow, to take it like a man, that is. Seriously, survey after survey reports this is a very popular activity. Here, then, is a handy handful of dos and don’ts to make his first (passive) anal sex experience actually really – really Wow!
Step One: Bathroom
First off, we need to face facts: his bum did not evolve – nor is designed the way it is by an all-seeing and anally benevolent Creator – primarily for the purpose of anal sex. We can’t wish this one away: for a start, his bum – inside his bum – may not be as clean as you might like it. What we can do is send him to the bathroom so he can take care of that. If you like it clean, if you particularly don’t like it getting messy, then he needs to douche. You can buy a douche in the Lovers’ Guide online stores – US and UK. He needs to fill it with plain water, and, using a little lube, insert it into his anus, squirt the water in, then sit on the loo and squirt the water out, and whatever comes with it, and repeat that process one or two times. Once he’s done that, for good measure, he can have a one minute scrub-up in the shower. (This bit, by the way, isn’t particularly sexy, so best you don’t get involved.)
Your Weapon Of Choice
You might be thinking of buying a dildo you can use on him with your hands, or it might be a strap-on dildo you have your eyes on. Either way, it is worth bearing in mind that it probably is going to take a little care to open him up, especially if he’s an anal sex virgin. (If you’ve seen films in which his or her anus already gapes ready to receive a porn-star-size penis, that’s because it’s already been relaxed and opened before the shot.)
Buy a more slender dildo to start to open him up with. Use plenty of lube, and go slowly. In terms of sex positions, the easiest way for him can be with him on his back and knees to his chest. Alternatively, you and he might prefer a doggy position – bury his head in that pillow – in which case, the more he’s angled at the waist, the more ‘open’ he’ll tend to be.
Even with a relatively slender dildo – think about the size of a medium carrot – it can take a little teasing at the door to enter, and the sensation for him once you’ve done so can be fairly intense, if not exactly ‘mind-blowing’. Listen to what he’s saying and the noises he’s making to judge the pace as you’re working the dildo inside him – and then to judge when he might be ready for the main course of in-and-out action. Take it slowly and use lots of lube.
Anal sex for him can indeed become mind-blowing when the girth of the dildo you’re using is just right. It can be something of a fine-art judging this, but as a rough rule of thumb if you can just close your hand around it, you’re probably in the right ballpark. Whether it’s a strap-on dildo you’re using, or hand-held, you can expect to push (gently!) when you’re first inserting it. Get him to push back against the dildo, as if he’s going to bathroom, as this opens his sphincter muscles. It can feel a little sharp for him when you first get your dildo inside. Once you’re in, he is going to start making some noises; they should be those of intense sensation – not agony!
This can be a real power trip for you. You can be playing a fantasy. It can be strange hearing the noises a man being taken anally can make. You might find this highly arousing. And you can be getting yourself off at the same time. The whole objective is make this a huge turn-on and deep physical pleasure for both of you.