Safe sex or no sex

Sexually transmitted infections and HIV/Aids are, sadly, a part of life. All human activities have risks. If your partner’s unwilling to practice safer sex, you’re putting yourself in danger.

But how do you persuade a reticent partner that they should use a condom? Here are a few common excuses, along with the responses you can use.

But I don’t get any sensation if I wear a condom.

I bet it’s more sensation than you get if you don’t have sex! Let’s try it with some lube inside the condom. (NB: Water or silicon based, not oil-based as this damages rubber)

Condoms are too tight on me.

It’s OK. I could tell you were an extra-large kind of guy so I got these specially.

I haven’t had sex for ages so I can’t have anything.

I’m pretty sure I’m disease-free too but you can’t always tell whether you’re infected so let’s play it safe.

If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to wear one.

If you loved me, you wouldn’t expect me to put myself at risk.

It will ruin the mood if I have to stop to put it on.

Not if I help you…

It’s a special occasion – just this once?

Sorry darling, it only takes once to put each other at risk.

I haven’t got any condoms.

That’s OK, I have.


OK, we can just fool around then.

I love you and I don’t want to ruin the intimacy.

I love you too and that’s why I want us both to be safe.

Do I look like the kind of person who’d have a disease?

We both know you’re gorgeous but it’s best for us both to be safe.

You never asked me to use a condom before. Have you been seeing someone else?

No, but we made a mistake by not using them before. You can have an infection without realising it, so let’s look after ourselves.

Posted in Flirting Tips, Relationships