For many women, your oral sex skills are much more important than either how big your penis is or how long you can ‘keep it up’ when having intercourse. Get your oral sex technique honed and you’ll be taking giant leaps to being her ideal lover.
For many, oral sex is more likely than intercourse to lead to orgasm, because the gentler, more subtly rhythmic movement is more suited than harder, penetrative thrusting to the ways in which women experience orgasm.
Men, tell and show your partner how much you love giving her oral sex. Show her that it’s a treat for you as well. Settle in and makes sure there’s no sense of hurry. She’s likely to experience orgasm more if there’s no sense of the pressure of time.
Your partner can demonstrate different oral techniques that she likes on your partner’s fingertips, so that you have a guide to work from. Pay attention to the way that she licks you – is it hard or soft, fast or slow and is her tongue pointed or flat? Which part of her tongue is she using to lick you? The more you know about the way your partner wants to be licked, the more pleasure you’ll be able to give her.
Many men automatically tense their tongue to give oral sex. While this can be pleasurable, laps from a soft and relaxed tongue can also feel great, and using the underside of the tongue to lick the tip of your clit can be mind-blowing.
As you make love, kiss around her vagina, stroking her tummy and thighs, especially her inner thighs, as well with your hands. Then, with your tongue or softly with your fingertips, part her labia and kiss and lick toward her clitoris.
Keep your lips and tongue moist with saliva to start with. (Raise your tongue to the top of your mouth for a few seconds and saliva will pool in your mouth.) Alternatively, take a few sips of water beforehand, or try champagne or whisky for an added tingle
Lick gently around the clitoral hood. As the clitoris emerges, try different degrees of contact. Try keeping your tongue quite still a moment or barely touching with the tip of your tongue. Sometimes a light touch can be just what you need.
Keep in mind the structure of the clitoris. The clitoris isn’t only the visible tip. It extends along and around the vagina. It is a complex of different areas of tissue and nerve fibres and can be stimulated in a wide variety of ways. Try to caress every millimetre of your partner’s clitoris rather than focussing purely on the sensitive nub and you’ll prove yourself to be a truly sophisticated lover.
Use the soft underside of your lips as well as your tongue – for a softer, silkier sensation. A gentle touch can be a lot more effective than just diving in and going for it.
Lick from different sides and try licking diagonally across it. The different strokes and feelings can together build up to a more and more hugely felt sense of arousal. Some women prefer up and down motions while others like side to side – it’s only by experimenting that you’ll find out what’s best for your partner.
To vary the ways your tongue moves, spell out message to your partner with your tongue. You can suck on her clitoris, encouraging more blood flow and heightened arousal. And try humming with your lips against her clitoris, so you become a human vibrator. Try varying the vibrations by varying the pitch.
Use your hands as well. By placing a finger insider her vagina and making a beckoning motion, you’ll draw the whole clitoris towards you and stimulate the G spot.
Withdrawing contact momentarily can ultimately heighten her pleasure – building anticipation. Blowing air across her vagina can produce a delightfully sharp sensation.
As your partner nears orgasm, keep your movements constant. Unlike men, women tend to prefer a maintained rhythm and pressure as they get closer to the edge.
As the experience of orgasm begins, it’s important to keep going just exactly as you are – pleasuring your partner through the period of orgasm. This is not entirely dissimilar to your experience of orgasm, though it can seem more sustained due to there not being a refractory period.
Girls, take this opportunity to enjoy your erotic imagination. Close your eyes – or have the lighting in the room just right to help you let your thoughts drift to your perfect love scenes. It might be a fantasy or it could be as simple as thinking about how sexy it is having your partner between your thighs. Have scented candles burning, soft music playing or whatever else is sensual to you to really stimulate every sense.
You can vary the sensation of oral sex by opening your legs further, clenching your vaginal muscles or drawing your knees back to push yourself toward your partner. Just go with the flow.
If you wish, stroke yourself to add extra stimulation. Your partner will find it sexy to watch too. Alternatively, stroke your partner’s hair or hold one of his hands as his tongue plays over you. A gentle squeeze of his hand is another way to encourage him when he’s getting something right.