Giving great oral sex is a beautiful pleasure for many of us, and an important part of our relationships with our loved ones. But let’s run a reality check and recall there are times when giving oral sex is about the last thing we want to be doing right now. It could be a mood thing. It could be you’re just not that into it, full stop. It could be, you get so far and it just starts to taste impossibly bad – to the point you cannot continue. It happens. And, with some men, it might happen pretty much every time. Now of course, if it’s not working for you, then you don’t carry on with it. Still, he wants that feeling… So lay him down, get him to close his eyes, and give him the exact same feelings of oral sex – with your hands.
Assuming he’s had a shower in the last ten minutes, his penis is unlikely to taste of anything much when you start giving him oral sex. This is important, because seeing that you love his penis is a very big deal for most guys. Believe it or not, it’s a loving and intimate act for him to see his cock in your, his lover’s, mouth – it is a way of feeling he’s giving love. (And there is a touch of helpless gratitude when that love is received.) You can begin to give oral sex, even if only for a minute, to set the scene and the mood of your lovemaking. Kiss and lick his penis. He may well feel a little insecure about his body and needs the show of love. Apart from his own, he may only have ever seen the super-sized, EU-approved, porn-star variety, in sexy films.
Thankfully, more or less exactly the same sensations of oral sex can be derived from a little high-quality lube and expert hands. Use lube. (Buy Lube in the Lovers’ Guide Shop USA. Buy Lube in the Lovers’ Guide shop UK.) Slather it on. With one hand, grip and encircle the base of his penis, and gently twist and kneed him there. Play around the head with your other hand. Explore different ways of touching, and, crucially, go at the pace your mouth would, which is probably a lot a slower than your hand might usually go on him. Alternate between a full hold and play with only your finger tips. Work your fingertips around the base of the glans – the head – and the mucosal membrane, exposed when you draw back his foreskin, if he has one. Build a slow, steady rhythm as you hear him becoming most aroused, and deny him the extra pace that might quickly tip him over to orgasm.
All the while, if he’s still looking, and not flat on his back blown away by now, show with your face, your eyes, your smile, that you are giving the love to his penis. Keep your face close to his penis, and your eyes intent on what your hands are doing. Kiss around his penis, and brush your hair over his stomach and thighs. When he’s lying back, you can shift your position so you’re sitting over his face, then lower yourself onto him, rubbing against him to tease, as well as to get yourself off. He might love to have his face caressed like this, and tasting you can do a lot to heighten his arousal.
The more you prolong this, the more intense and, yes, ‘mind-blowing’ can his eventual orgasm be. Maybe, then, don’t expect too much by way of reciprocity straight away. Leave the helpless puddle sighing in his blown thoughts awhile. Then next time, you get yours!
See also: Oral sex techniques: pleasing her