Oral sex is probably high on his wish list, although many men, unlike women, won’t experience orgasm through oral sex alone. The positions you choose affect how he feels when you have oral sex, in terms of the physical feeling and also his state of mind.
The easiest position for both of you is for the man simply to lie back while his partner kneels between his legs. There are several advantages to having oral sex this way. The woman’s tongue is naturally placed against the more sensitive underside of his penis, she has easy access to his testicles, perineum and anus, it’s easy to use her hands and you can maintain easy eye contact with each other.
It’s important for the man in this position to be able really to feel at ease. He can enjoy being the passive partner, giving control to his partner while she pleasures him – and he can understand that it’s a pleasure for her as well: receiving oral, you really do need to know your partner wants to be down there.
It’s partly because the man is quite passive that he might not experience orgasm through oral sex alone in this position; also, because he may need more friction if he’s to come. If that’s the case, either switch to masturbation or combine oral sex with masturbation. Alternatively, treat oral sex as foreplay; keep going for as long as you both want, then switch to full intercourse.
Giving oral sex, and when masturbating your partner, bear in mind that his genitals, much like a woman’s, are complex structures. Different areas of the penis alone give different sensations when stimulated. Try licking across the urethra or over the frenulum – the highly sensitive little ridge of skin just below the urethra. Lick around the glans. Try rotating your lips around the ridged band, the underside of the foreskin on uncircumcised men. To shift sensation and give him a great sense of the length of his penis, lick up and down the shaft. Alternate light, flickery touches with using the flat of your tongue.
Oral sex with the man standing can feel more active for him. For some, it can be part of a dominant-submissive fantasy role play. It can also feel more natural for some men to be able to tense their leg muscles while standing.
For the woman, kneeling is probably not the best way to approach his penis. For starters, it isn’t particularly comfortable. You’re also likely to be too low to lick and suck his penis in the ways he’d most like. Try sitting on a chair or on the side of the bed instead.
It can be good for him to be able to thrust into his partner’s mouth. This lets him set the pace he wants. If he is going to be doing this, his partner can use her hands, wrapped around his penis, to limit the depth of his thrusts.
The visual appeal of standing oral sex positions should be great for him. He can caress his partner’s hair if she likes that. When he is going to come, you might both want him to come over his partner’s face. If he does this, though, she should close her eyes, as the ejaculate can cause quite painful alkaline burns to the eyes.
Up above, down below
For extra erotic charge, try having oral sex with the man squatting over his partner, thrusting through her lubricated hands into her mouth. He can go quite hard and fast like this, her hands limiting the depth of his thrusts, and this can be exhilarating for both of you. For deeper penetration, she can reach forward, grip his buttocks and pull him in.
What are the best oral sex positions for you?
With a little imagination, you can invent all sorts of ways of bringing your two bodies together. We’d love to hear your variations. What have you tried and what have you most enjoyed? Share your thoughts in the Lovers’ Guide forums – click through here