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Oral sex positions – pleasing her

Oral sex is the ultimate sex treat for many women – and it’s a fine opportunity for men to lavish praise on their partner’s bodies. Many of your messages have asked about different oral sex positions to try, so here we’d like to make a few suggestions.

Oral sex positions to please her can be adventurous and the more adventurous positions can add erotic charge to your lovemaking. You might find, though, that it is the more simple positions that give you or your partner the best experience of oral sex and lead most reliably to the experience of orgasm. Try these positions and see how you get on.

Woman on top

Squatting over her partner’s mouth is a power-position for the woman, giving her a lot of control, which some women say is important for their experience of orgasm. She can tease and withhold herself from her partner, settle down to find the best-fitting position or very actively ‘use’ his face, rubbing herself against him.

To help him feel comfortable and be able to reach up to meet his partner, the man should rest his head on a couple of pillows. He shouldn’t strain upwards: he needs to feel relaxed to be able to use his mouth properly.

There’s no need for her, though, only to rely on her partner’s mouth. She can use her fingers to stimulate herself at the same time, or use a vibrator as well.

The sun-lounger

For a variation on this basic woman-on-top position, the man can raise his knees so that his partner can fall backwards to lounge against his thighs. She can spread her thighs to open herself up and this can be a very indulgent position. You might, though, find that it is difficult to match mouth to genitals properly and that the position strains the woman.

Up against the wall

In this position, the woman quite literally leans against a wall while the man kneels before her. Oral sex now can feel urgent and passionate; it can form a really energising part of your foreplay; it can feel great for the man to kneel and pay homage to his lover. You might, though, find it is unlikely to lead on its own to the experience of orgasm.

Perfect oral sex?

For the best experience of oral sex, many people find that there is really no need to reinvent the wheel, that the best oral sex position is that which most helps the woman to relax, which allows the man’s mouth to connect with his partner most easily and which helps her keep control of her pelvic muscles, also maintaining blood flow to the pelvic region. She lies on her back, legs only a little apart, knees raised only slightly. He lies between her legs, their bodies together forming a straight line.

Both partners can feel really comfortable now. You can relax and rest assured there’s absolutely no hurry; you have all the time in the world to indulge in oral sex – an often essential state of mind if the woman is to experience orgasm.

The man’s head need hardly move. With his mouth – his lips, gums, tongue and upper lip – he can seal himself against his partner, moving his tongue especially across her vagina, around her labia and around and across her clitoris, offering some variation of movement and finding and maintaining the rhythms which work best for her. He can use his hands throughout to support his partner and draw her genital area together and towards him. She has merely to lie back, fantasize and let her thoughts wander.

What are the best oral sex positions for you?

With a little imagination, you can invent all sorts of ways of bringing your two bodies together. We’d love to hear your variations. What have you tried and what have you most enjoyed? Email, as ever,

For further inspiration, try the Lovers’ Guide Sex Play DVD – to download or in the Lovers’ Guide shop

Posted in Better Sex: Pleasing Her, Sex