Using a strap-on

A lot of lesbians traditionally thought that using a strap-on during sex alluded to penis envy – that really all you wanted was to sleep with a man and have penetrative sex all the time.

Well, thankfully times have changed and it’s almost the done thing for every lesbian couple to have one as standard. They may seem odd at first, but once you get used to them they can be great for using every so often as a treat or a little more often as a major part of your lovemaking sessions.

A strap-on is exactly what it says – basically, a strap-on dildo. All you do is use a dildo and hold it on with a harness, which is usually leather.

It’s important to get the right harness – you may be different sizes, so a leather adjustable one is great for beginners. You can really adjust things so it fits you both perfectly. It may take a bit of practice, but you’ll get there in no time at all. They are quite expensive, so choose wisely – but you can be safe in the knowledge that they will last a long time and serve your purpose well.

Once you have purchased your harness you need to make sure you have the correct dildo. You will probably already have one, but be sure to have one that suits both of you rather than trying a ‘one size fits all’ approach. You may need completely different sizes and if you don’t take this into consideration, it could be very painful for one and very disappointing for the other.

Once you have all the equipment you need it’s time to start getting the technique right. At first it may seem hard to get around the fact that you can’t actually feel anything if you are the one wearing the harness. You need therefore to have good communication with your partner. She needs to talk to you at all times about how it feels and what she wants you to do.

A good starting position would be with her on top. Let her lower herself gently onto the dildo – use some lube if needed – and then let her move as she likes on top. Once she gets a rhythm going, you can start to join in by gently thrusting your hips into her.

Hold onto her hips for stability and be sure not to push too hard or too fast at first, but do take her lead as and when is necessary. Once she becomes confident using it, you can then move into other positions such as the missionary and from behind.

It’s important to remember that everyone has different needs and desires when it comes to penetrative sex, so just take it easy until you both learn what each other enjoys. You don’t have to go at it great guns for it to be enjoyable, but if you do want that eventually, you will find the confidence to be trying sex in all the different positions.

You may find that you both enjoy it so much that you’ll be using it more often than not – and don’t worry, it doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian if you enjoy penetrative sex with a strap-on. It just means it leaves your hands free to enjoy the rest of her body without worrying about not pleasuring her.

Remember that it is a fun experience, and it won’t go perfectly at first, but the fun is definitely in the trying! After all, practice does make perfect!