How to use sex toys
You’ve battled through the range and selection of sex toys and chosen the one that you think is going to work well for you and your partner – however, you’ve just realised that you don’t actually know how to use a sex toy.
It is daunting, particularly if it is with a new partner; however, it’s not as scary as it might seem. With the right girl, you’ll find that finding out how to use it to the best of your ability is all part of the fun.
Firstly, you should have a vague idea about what you want to use it for. For example – a dildo can be used on its own or as part of a strap-on, a vibrator can be used for clitoral stimulation, a butt plug or anal wand can be used for anal sex and lubes can also be used in different ways.
Let’s start with dildos. Be sure that when you are about to use one you use lube, as they can be quite dry and women have varying amounts of wetness, even if they are really turned on. You only need a small amount on the tip to rub down the shaft. If it’s her first time, take it slowly and gently part the entrance to the vagina with your fingers, then slowly insert the dildo. Insert deeper, gradually, until she feels it goes in to a comfortable point.
Gradually glide the dildo back and forth, slowly at first, and then get faster to a comfortable speed. She should be able to adjust her position to one that she enjoys and is comfortable with, and you should take her lead on this. It’s no good going at it hammer and tongs and her just smiling through the pain.
You will find that she will adjust her rhythm accordingly and you will be able to tell when she is about to come. Even though you can’t feel her, you will feel the force of the dildo being pushed out as her vagina contracts. You might find that she comes so hard that it pushes the dildo out in your hands, along with an amount of come.
A great invention is the Feeldoe, which is an adaptation of the double ended dildo and is basically a strapless strap-on, which means you can both get enjoyment from playing with strap-ons. It’s a little tricky to master and it’s important that the ‘giver’ keeps her legs closed, otherwise it can tend to fall out with the motion.
When using vibrators, some women don’t need them to be inserted inside to get the full benefit. They are great for clitoral stimulation and generally don’t need any lube to make them work any better. Make sure she is lying on her back with her legs wide open so that you can have easy access to the clitoris. With the vibrator switched on, hold it gently on the clitoris and eventually she will become turned on and the clit will become hard. She may be too sensitive for it to be held there right until she comes, but it is a good precursor to using a dildo. Use gentle, circular motions on her clit and take it away as she is coming because it is very hard to continue when having an orgasm due to heightened sensitivity.
Using any anal toy should be taken cautiously – particularly if she has never had anal sex before. Some women simply don’t enjoy it, but others enjoy it as an addition to vaginal sex. It’s important to start off very small and use lube. Try it when she is on her side with her back to you so you can hold her with one arm, then insert gently from behind. You only need insert by an inch or so to get a great effect.
If she is particularly nervous about this, try with your finger first to get her used to the idea and then take it from there. Starting off with an anal wand is also a good way to gauge responses.
There are lots of fun ways to use toys too, and the limit really is your imagination. You can blindfold her and ask her to guess which type of toy you are using on her, or you can run it all over her body until she lets you use it in the proper way, or you can simply have fun going shopping for them – probably the best type of foreplay there is!
You really can’t go too wrong with any sex toy as long as you take your time and respect each other. You must listen to your body and feel comfortable with what you are doing. It’s got to be something that you both enjoy.
