Am I gay?

Q. This may sound like a really stupid question, but am I gay? There’s a girl at work that I get on really well with, but just recently I’ve found it difficult to say goodbye to her after drinks out, or I’m thinking about her more than I should.

I’ve never kissed a girl before, and I don’t know any other gay people. Can you help me, because I feel really lonely and it’s just getting me down. I don’t want to upset her, but I need to find out!

Sarah, Middx.

A. Dear Sarah:

It’s not uncommon for women to become infatuated with other women, particularly if they are feeling vulnerable or if they feel a connection with someone they haven’t felt before.

However, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that you are gay. It probably isn’t a good idea to find out through your work colleague as it could throw up any number of problems!

I would suggest looking around on the internet so you can get chatting to other girls and discuss your feelings fully – get to know other gay people and perhaps see if it really is what you are feeling. It may be that this is a woman you admire and are confusing this with a crush.