Seducing a woman is always a pleasurable challenge for some men, but seducing a long-term partner may be an occasion which can bring even greater rewards.
After a few years of marriage, some couples find that sex and intimacy lose their original sparkle and that they drift into a routine of day-to-day lovemaking that lacks imagination and excitement.
One time when this may be particularly important is after a woman has had a baby. Often women feel particularly unsexy after birth. This is hardly surprising given the great changes they have undergone both physically and emotionally. This feeling is further compounded by the general attitude to women who have babies – that they are now mothers rather than lovers.
A man can do much to redress this situation just by making his partner feel attractive and sexy. A good way of doing this is to make a positive effort to seduce your partner.
Most people associate seduction with new love affairs but this need not be so. If you are planning to seduce a long-term partner, however, it makes sense to build your seduction into an organized event, especially as many women are so delighted by romance and anticipation.
Prepare well ahead
Given that anticipation is half the fun, it is sensible to plan your seduction in advance. Some people enjoy the preparation as much as the seduction itself.
If you have any children, arrange a babysitter in advance so that there will be no last-minute hiccups.
Make arrangements at the places you intend to go. If you decide to go out for a meal, be sure to book so that you have the best chance of going exactly where your wife would most enjoy. If you are going to a film or a show in the afternoon, then book this up too.
The determined seducer leaves nothing to chance – uncertainty and letdowns are a real turn off. Also, your wife will be delighted to think that you have gone to all this trouble for her.
Buy her a little present of some kind – perhaps some favourite perfume or some sexy underwear. Also, to add spice to the night, you can visit the Lovers’ Guide shop and buy a sex enhancer, such as a vibrator, to use at an appropriate moment.
On the day
A good warm-up to an evening of seduction is to do something non-sexual together in the afternoon. Go to a romantic film, perhaps have a walk in the country together – all these work wonders for building up a level of intimacy between you as you unwind from the pressures of family and working life.
An intimate dinner
The evening can begin with a candlelit dinner, either at a favourite restaurant or at home – as long as you keep the preparations simple, to avoid spending hours in the kitchen! During the meal, do not eat or drink too much. No one feels very seductive or, indeed, likes being seduced, if they have drunk too much alcohol or have indigestion.
Be sensitive about what you eat. Certain foods are especially sexy to eat and a seductive man can make the most of this. Give your wife little tastes of your dishes and get her to do the same. Compliment her frequently.
Only now does the sexual side of the seduction begin – but the job is already more than half done.
Dancing is really a form of foreplay when it takes place between two lovers. So if the restaurant you choose has dancing, so much the better. When you arrive home, or if you are dining at home, turn the lights down low, put on some favourite music and just spend time dancing closely and being in one another’s arms. Kiss a lot and snuggle into one another. Take it gently and do not go straight for intercourse.
Remove her clothes
Slowly undress her as you dance and compliment her on her beautiful body. Tell her how much it turns you on.
At this point, you will probably both want to retire to your bedroom. Remember to leave the heating on so that the room is warm and cosy.
If she is still partly clothed, put on some music and ask her to strip for you. This should be a real turn-on for her as well as you.
Once she is undressed, you can give her the sexy undies you have bought and ask her to try them on. Get her to model them as if she were in a fashion show. At this stage, resurrect any sexual games you played in your courtship days. Many couples remember them with affection.
If the seduction is going well, now is the time to take things a stage further.
Ask her to lie back with her legs apart and slowly caress her body from top to toe. Massage her, if she likes this, preferably using some scented massage oil. Tease her breasts and nipples and intimately massage all the parts of her body that you know excite her.
Now caress her vulva and clitoris so that she is highly aroused. All the time encourage her to do to you whatever you know she enjoys best. Remember that you are seducing her and enabling her to get the best out of it.
When she is highly aroused and well lubricated, insert first one finger and then two in her vagina and do whatever she likes best with them.
Use the vibrator
As the tension mounts, you can bring out the vibrator you have ready. Slowly insert it into her vagina a little at a time. She may be amazed at the new sensation and will want to know what is going on.
Use the vibrator exactly as she wants and be guided by her body movements and unspoken messages as to what she best likes. She may not know what is best if it is a new experience, so you will have to experiment.
By now, she will be highly excited and will probably want you to make love to her. Now is a good time to try a new or unorthodox sexual position that produces a new sensation for her.
Alternatively, she could have her first orgasm with the vibrator inside her vagina while you pay special attention to other parts of her body.
Even if she usually has only one orgasm, she will, after all this build-up, be more than ready to make love in one of her favourite positions.
Making love after a baby
If your wife has just had a baby, you may have to approach your lovemaking in a slightly different way. If she had to have an episiotomy, it is a wise precaution to have some baby oil or KY jelly handy as she may feel a little discomfort or tightness when she makes love again.
Also, you will have to take things very gently and resist the temptation to thrust. A good way to do this is to insert only the tip of your penis into the outer folds of her labia. In this way you can leave all the movements, speed and depth of penetration to her.
Choose a position which offers shallow – rather than deep – penetration. Remember even the most considerate lover can get carried away at the moment of his own orgasm and unwittingly thrust too vigorously.
Man on top
Because there are so many variations of the missionary position, it makes sense to adjust the basic position so that penetration is not too deep.
The best way to do this is to place something under her buttocks – a pillow is best. In this way, she can angle her buttocks so that as you enter her she can control the degree of penetration and avoid contact with any bruised areas. In some cases, the woman may prefer to be on top because it gives her more control over penetration.
When you have finished making love, let your wife decide what a perfect end to the evening would be. She may well want to fall asleep in your arms or she might want to talk about something that is loving and intimate for you both. If you do talk before you fall asleep, tell her how much you love and need her.
Encourage her to talk about her best pleasures of the time you had together – there may have been something you did in the afternoon together, or a part of the meal out, perhaps the dancing.
Remember what she says so that you can build the experience into your next act of seduction to make it even more thrilling!
Learn the secrets of better sex
The world-famous Lovers’ Guide range of videos / DVDs – available to own in the Lovers’ Guide shop (region 2) and as a series of video downloads (especially suitable for USA residents – and the rest of the world outside of Europe)