Getting to Yes, Yes, Yes! Foreplay, Friction & Fantasy

Get to grips with the three big ‘F’s: foreplay, friction and fantasy. Orgasms guaranteed? Almost. Try our suggestions for achieving satisfaction every time you make love, then share your orgasm secrets with the ever growing Lovers’ Guide community.

You’ll see more in the Lovers’ Guide feature: Satisfaction Guaranteed, 7 Secrets to a Passionate Love Life – available to download here.


Given twenty minutes of foreplay, over 90% of women will reach their orgasm – so indulge! By ‘foreplay’, we mean a lot more than direct clitoral stimulation through oral sex or by hand. Creating a romantic and sexy mood, enabling the emotional release needed for both partners to reach orgasm, is often simply a matter of coming together, holding each other and kissing, admiring each other – and letting other concerns slip into the background. Beyond this, feel free to let your imaginations run wild! For inspiration, try these Lovers’ Guide articles: Sex with Ice , Striptease, Him for Her, Get the Buzz on Sex Toys, Sensual Massage, Slip and Slide.


Men often worry about the size of their penises when size really isn’t everything. Men, quit worrying! Focus instead on choosing sex positions which provide the best clitoral stimulation for her. Try the Coital Alignment Technique, for instance, in which, rather than simply thrust, the man gyrates from the hips, maintaining contact with his partner and grinding against her clitoris. Or try a woman-on-top position, in which either partner is free to stimulate the clitoris by hand. To see more sex positions in action, click here.

The most important sexual organ of all is the brain. Many people are, though, wary of using theirs to fantasize during sex. Indeed, many people are uncomfortable with sexual fantasies full stop. There is no reason to fear fantasies, even those which you would never wish to become real, such as those involving extreme acts of force and control. Kept as fantasies, the scenes you imagine can really help you to tap into your sensual side and your orgasmic potential. Imagine the sex you’d like to have. Imagine the setting and the partner – or partners. Tell each other your fantasies. And if you find you just can’t tip over the edge and let orgasm happen during sex, transport yourself in your mind to one of your favourite fantasy scenes. Your partner need never know you’ve been there! Learn more with this Lovers’ Guide article: Dream On, A Guide to Living Out Your Fantasies.Fantasy

Share your secrets here

It’s your Lovers’ Guide and we’d love to hear more of your experiences and hear just what does it for you. Email:

Posted in Better Sex: Pleasing Her, Sex