Styles of loving

In matters of partner selection, it hardly needs saying that different men pursue different qualities, but can be worth remembering that different people desire and love in different ways. Reflecting on how you love, and how others might love, can be...

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Hitting the scene - and thriving!

It can be like swimming with sharks when you first hit the scene, the sprawl of clubs and bars in whichever big city you're nearest to. When you enter the bar, all eyes turn. They could be doing rather more than simply undressing you with their eyes ...

One-on-one? Commitments

It’s the younger who often assume they’re in a one-on-one relationship just because they’ve had sex once. Expectations run sky-high and are often unsustainable – though sometimes our earliest relationships do indeed last into the long-term. For those...

Anger Management

Usually when we fight, and especially in relationships, it is our own internal anger and conflict we are expressing. Yes, there are times in life when we need to stand up to ourselves with whatever degree of force is appropriate, but where people are...

Saying its over

You know it’s time for the relationship to end. You’ve closed off from him. You just no longer fancy him, find his presence and his (increasingly) irritating (stupid) habits downright oppressive. (Why did it never really bug you before, the way he’d ...

Time to grieve

He’s dumped you. What advice is on offer here? Pick yourself up? Get over it? Life moves on? Well, it does, in the end. You will – but that won’t happen straight away. There’s more than a little unhappiness to get through first. Rule one: don’t be as...

Intimacy: loving your shadow

What draws us, even compels us, to love and desire one person rather than another? There will, no doubt, be a range of superficial similarities: points of connection, looks, attitudes and interests shared. But that’s the case with our friends as well...

Gender roles

We are (usually) trained in our sense of gender roles within heterosexual families. There, still, the feminine becomes associated with the female, the masculine with male. There are norms concerning how men and women may acceptably behave. Those norm...