Don’t be shy: masturbation is good for you! We explore the best female masturbation techniques to have you feeling sensual and reaching orgasm - alone or with your partner.
Girls, if you’ve never tried masturbating, chances are you’ve never had an orgasm during sex. While the average male starts to masturbate at 12-13, most women tend to start in their later teens – and then the subject is even more shrouded in taboo than it is with ‘the lads’. Beyond adolescence, masturbation can tend to become an ‘open secret’. We (pretty much) all do it, but few are prepared to discuss their masturbation techniques and preferences openly. So, if you’re not sure how best to have solo sex and pleasure yourself, we’ll show you how.
If you’re new to masturbation, choose your time and place reasonably carefully and set the scene. It’s a good idea to make sure your flat mates are out, so you won’t feel self-conscious or worried they’re about to barge in on you. Take the phone off the hook – and make sure you’re not going to feel hurried. If you’re stressed, it can be beneficial to have a bath, play relaxing music and unwind. You’ll need to be able to think and feel sexily, with no inhibitions or nagging, everyday thoughts, to get the most out of masturbation.
Most women have at some point used a hand-held mirror to take a look at their genitals. It is important to have a good, clear knowledge of your body; otherwise you’ll be left fumbling in the mental dark.
To begin with, though, and when you are relaxed, leave the genitals aside and touch yourself elsewhere. Stroke your breasts and your tummy and thighs – and, indeed, everywhere else that feels pleasurable. Let any resistance you have to the thought of self-pleasuring go and allow yourself to feel fully sensual. You might like using massage oil when you caress yourself, or a silicone based lubricant, which will also come in handy when you do start to stimulate your clitoris.
Let yourself fantasise. This is one of the key ‘masturbation techniques’ which are often neglected. So much of our sexual pleasure is, as they say, ‘in the mind’. Think about someone you’d like to have sex with – and that can include your partner! Think of the ways you’d like to have sex, and the locations you’d most like to have sex in. It might be that you use erotica you get yourself fantasising and then imagine your own fantasies as you become more aroused.
When you are feeling relaxed and sensual, start gently to touch your genitals, parting the outer labia and stroking, pressing and rubbing until you find the techniques which feel most pleasurable here. Then, using saliva on your fingers or a personal lubricant, begin to focus your movements on your clitoris.
Run your fingers on and around the clitoral hood. Try varying the pressure and the direction of the strokes – side to side or in circular motions – to see what feels best. As you become more aroused, the clitoral hood will retract. You might then enjoy stroking the tip of the clitoris, though to some women this can be too sensitive. Whatever techniques you choose, keep a steady rhythm. If you’ve never reached orgasm – and the vast majority of women can when they masturbate – you’ll know when you do reach orgasm because, after an increasing sense of pleasurable feelings building up around and centering on the clitoris, your vagina will go into a series of wave-like spasms and there’ll be a surge of intense pleasure. The clitoris can tend to withdraw – and be painful to touch after climax – and the vaginal muscles may contract.
Popular female masturbation techniques: a guide
Most women, most of the time, will choose to masturbate lying down or resting back, with knees raised, on a bed or sofa. You might focus on clitoral stimulation alone, but many enjoy a degree of penetration, especially as they become more aroused. You can easily reach you clitoris in these positions – and so experiment with different ways of touching it. Most women like to keep up a regular rhythm, though some will prefer to stop and start. As you reach orgasm, try pushing the soles of your feet together to raise the level of tension in your groin.
Most women who masturbate have tried using a vibrator – and if you’re in a hurry this can be a great option! Few like to insert the vibrator, preferring to use the tip on and around the vaginal opening and the clitoris. Just as when using your fingers, use plenty of lubrication. Combine using the vibrator with using your fingers. A word of caution: one can become over-reliant on vibrators, to the point where ‘normal’ sex comes to seem less pleasurable in comparison, and orgasms harder to achieve without using the toys. A good piece of advice is to use vibrators only when you’re totally happy with the results you achieve with your hands.
A further very popular technique is to grind again something. This might be a pillow beneath you on the bed, the arm of a sofa – or your partner’s leg. You might like to keep up a steady, quite firm thrusting motion all the way to orgasm, or start this way and then switch to clitoral stimulation with your hands.
Finally, no matter what masturbation techniques you find work best for you, you’ll need to share your knowledge of what you like with your partner – and show him what he should be doing during sex play to arouse you most.
Learn the secrets of better sex
The world-famous Lovers’ Guide range of videos / DVDs – available to own in the Lovers’ Guide shop (region 2) and as a series of video downloads (especially suitable for USA residents – and the rest of the world outside of Europe)