Female ejaculation – or more raunchily, gushing or squirting orgasms – has been known of for centuries, is written of, for example, in medieval Indian texts, yet awareness and acceptance of the phenomenon has until recently by and large been suppressed in the west, along with other aspects of sexuality, particularly women’s sexuality. Explanations vary and are not yet conclusive, but one thing’s for sure: it feels great!
What is female ejaculation?
Some have said female ejaculation is actually urine; others that it is a fluid secreted by the female homologue to the male prostate; still others, that it is a combination of both. Before going any further, we should ask: does it matter?
Assume, for the moment, that female ejaculation is actually nothing but urine – never mind that this probably isn’t the case. Well? If urinating at the peak of sexual arousal feels good to you, just put some towels down.
Of course, we live in societies which for centuries have sought to police women’s bodies and women’s sexuality. While the boys were having long distance peeing competitions, or comparing the reach of each other’s ejaculate, for that matter, girls to this day often remain subject to the view that their ‘bodily fluids’ are dirty – to the point where they may fear having sex at the very time of the month when they are most aroused, or even worry about ‘excess’ lubrication when having sex. Understandable worries about girls becoming pregnant are often entangled with views about girls’ sexuality which are frankly sexist. (Incidentally, though, it might be pointed out that for a man to seem to urinate, whether it’s urine or a lot of prostatic fluid, at the peek of his arousal could also become for him a source of needless worry and shame.) Learning to achieve female ejaculation is partly a case of unlearning or undoing such destructive conditioning.
On a practical note, women, if you do know that you are liable to ejaculate when you reach orgasm, you need to have both yourself and your partner on side. It’s worth a mention before having sex, so you both can relax and go with it – and enjoy.
The female prostate
Women do not have an exact equivalent of the male prostate gland, an essential part of the male reproductive system. They do, though, have structures which are homologous to the male prostate, this meaning that they have developed from the same embryonic tissue. (The testicles of the male and the ovaries of the female are also homologous.) These are called para-urethral glands or Skene’s glands – although the term ‘Skene’s glands’ is often reserved for the two para-urethral glands closest to the opening of the urethra. They are there because, for the first weeks of pregnancy, the male and female embryo are not yet differentiated – and, yes, that’s why men have nipples.
The size and structure of the para-urethral glands varies, it seems relatively considerably, from woman to woman. The fluid they produce is the same as that produced by the male prostate and, as in the male, passes into the urethra – and in some cases may pass into the vagina. The glands fill with fluid during sexual arousal and may be felt through the vaginal wall. The swelling of the tissue surrounding the urethra may be a combination of the glands filling with fluid and of the swelling of the woman’s erectile tissue, the corpus spongiosum, which latter, in the male, gives a man his erection.
It is, it seems, the rhythmic contractions of pelvic muscle during orgasm which expel the accumulated fluid as at least one constituent of female ejaculation. The amount of fluid released can be considerable, through repeated filling and emptying of the glands during orgasm.
Female ejaculation and the G-spot
While it has been said that the G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, is actually the tail end of the clitoris, a considerably sized structure of which the visible tip is only a small part, it seems likely that the area of high sensitivity known as the G-spot is the result of the swelling of the para-urethral glands during sexual arousal. The G-spot isn’t permanently there, like the clitoris is. The term defines an area of sensitivity while the woman is aroused.
Simulation of the G-spot certainly seems to contribute to the ability of the woman to achieve female ejaculation – although, since arousal is needed for the G-spot to emerge, clitoral stimulation plays its part.
Achieving female ejaculation
Achieving female ejaculation is a matter both of letting go – unlearning those aspects of socialization which inhibit the free flow of bodily fluids – and of targeting stimulation. Empty your bladder first. Masturbate in your usual ways – then combine clitoral stimulation with stimulation of the urethra, through the vaginal wall, and the G-spot. (For more information about finding your G-spot, try this article: G-spot orgasm technique.) For this, you’ll probably need a dildo or vibrator – available in the Lovers’ Shop. A G-spot vibrator, with a curve at the end, is often seen as being most useful – available here.
Continue to massage your clitoris, urethra and G-spot up to the point of orgasm. (If your G-spot is too sensitive at first, home in on the area as you become more aroused.) As you reach orgasm, relax your bladder and try pressing out as if passing urine. There may be a new and very powerful sensation if you do ejaculate. If not, be aware that this can take practice – and your orgasm should still be intense!
Once you have achieved female ejaculation yourself – and do please be aware that in you the effect may be quite slight, or you could indeed find yourself ‘gushing’ – then it might be time to bring in your partner and set about educating him in your new-found art!