Can I improve the taste of my penis?

We know that what you eat and drink affects the taste of ejaculate (cum), but can you also change the taste of your penis – to make it even better for your partner than it is already? Advice is given.

I have read somewhere, maybe in the Lovers’ Guide, that you can affect the taste of your cum by avoiding consuming  such stuff as coffee, red meat and ( whoa!) asparagus. Now this may sound like a bizarre question  – but is there anything I can do to make my whole penis taste better? Yes I know I can cover it in chocolate or honey or something – but, I mean, actually tasting better as itself, not something you can just lick off?

Our reply – Have your say in the LoveSpace forums:

Fresh from the shower, and scrubbed all over, your penis won’t taste of much apart from skin. Give the flavours a little while to develop, though, and yes, what you eat and drink affects your penis taste.

This is mostly because what you eat and drink affects how you smell and taste all over – and just to get you paranoid, you won’t be able to smell yourself exactly as others can smell you. A person’s smell and flavour (these are basically the same thing, BTW) is most obvious when his/her diet has been different from yours. People who eat a lot of dairy, for example, can tend to smell like rotting milk to those who don’t. Garlic’s another one that’s obvious for days to those who haven’t eaten any lately. The spices used in Indian foods can also tend to linger very powerfully. Upshot, make your pongiest meals romantic treats for two, then you’ll both smell/taste the same and can quit worrying.

Your penis, though, does taste of more than just skin, especially if you’re uncircumcised. The secretions of the mucosal membrane beneath the foreskin taste, well, of penis. Despite the fact that, if left unattended to, these become the unattractively termed and unsightly ‘smegma’, a reasonably fresh penis tastes pretty good.

Now, at this point our research here becomes less than 100% thorough and methodological. We have, though, noted that some guys seem to manage a full day at the office and this, if anything, just sweetens and deepens the taste, introducing extra layers of subtlety and interest, conducive to a mutually satisfying blowjob. And other guys have barely finished towelling themselves down before they taste gag-makingly pungent again.  Now it could be it’s just a case of horses for courses, and one person’s blowjob hell is another’s Nirvana. There have seemed to be some considerations of diet, but the correlations are at best shaky. Some guys even seem to be able to eat fast food franchise burgers and still taste passing good.

Our best guess – and it is a guess – is that the taste of your penis is a reflection of your general health. If you’re properly hydrated, for example, and your liver isn’t struggling, then you’re upping the chances of your genital secretions tasting good. If, on the other hand, you’re a greasy-oily-sweaty type generally, watch out below.

Finally, bear in mind that the smell of your penis is meant to be a sexual attractor. This is one possible reason why we still have pubic hair – to enhance the smell. Now we’d love you to experiment and get back in touch – you might try varying your diet and then checking the smell that’s passed to your hand when you masturbate. Still, your smell and flavour will be, subtlety, distinctly you, and whether your partners go for that or not is thought to be an excellent indicator of compatibility more generally. So scrub up, stay healthy, and think twice about milk, and you might start planning long term if she just loves going down on you!

Posted in Health, Your Body