Ten per cent of couples try anal sex at some time. While it’s not for everyone, if you want to try it, here are some of the most common queries.
Q. How can I relax my partner’s rectum sufficiently to allow my penis inside?
A. Much of the relaxation is psychological rather than physical, so you need to make sure that your partner really wants to have full anal sex. Lubrication is important, so use a water-based lubricant liberally. You could also try dilating the rectum with a finger before attempting penetration with your penis. You may not be successful the first time, but the important thing is not to create any emotional pressure, as this will make things more difficult on subsequent occasions. Once you have entered the rectum with your penis, remember to be gentle as the walls of the rectum are much thinner than those of the vagina and can easily be damaged. Using a strong condom during anal penetration is essential in order to avoid infections and HIV transmission.
Q. My partner had anal sex with a past partner and wants me to try it. I’m worried about the pain, but excited by the thought. Can you advise me?
The most common causes of pain during anal sex are tension, lack of lubrication and over-enthusiastic penetration. If you like the idea and can avoid these pitfalls, you should be able to enjoy anal sex, as the tissue surrounding of the anus and rectum contains many nerve endings and stimulation can be highly pleasurable. Experiment with fingers before attempting full penetration (with trimmed finger nails). Using a strong condom during anal penetration is essential for safe sex.
Health and hygiene
Q. Is it safe to have vaginal and anal sex in the same session?
A. It is safe to have vaginal sex followed by anal sex but not the other way around, as bacteria, which exist naturally and healthily in the anus can cause infections when passed to the vagina or mouth. A good wash in between will work, but may kill the passion somewhat, so the best bet is to get the order right in the first place.
Obsessive anal sex
Q. My partner seems to have become addicted to anal sex and although I enjoy it occasionally, I don’t want to lose all the other good parts of our sex life.
A. It can be easy for one sexual practice to become the focus of all activity if one partner particularly enjoys it. If you have only recently started experimenting with anal sex, your partner’s current inclination is probably just the result of the novelty factor and should soon wear off. If this is a long-term obsession, you probably need to introduce some other exciting practices in order to focus his attention on your other needs. Communication is the key as he may not realise that you are dissatisfied and assume that you are enjoying it as much as he is.